An Idiots Take

Sight For Sore Eyes

2011-12-14T22:27:00.001-06:00

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You can rest easy knowing that Xavier players were already edgy due to Twitter comments from some Cincinnati players. It should also be noted that one of the participants said "We have some gangstas in this locker room, not thugs, but men that won't back down". Stay classy

Having trouble sleeping? Call my man Jon "Bones" Jones at 1-800-go-to-sleep

A few things caught my eye on this one.....Anytime a 270 lb man is working his bang thang....please do not run all up in his space. I love the blatant disrespect of the Dallas Star. The more I watch this, the more I'm sure this should have been blurred out!

Ok, to prevent the "omg" messages I got from the last time I posted something like this...I'll just say this isn't for the faint of heart....

Just Sayin

2011-12-08T23:03:00.001-06:00

If you were lucky enough to compile a decent enough record, week 14 is put up or shut up time in the world of fantasy football. In real life football, it's juuuust about time to start declaring who's definitely in or out of the playoff picture. One team in particular, the Broncos, appear to be headed that route thanks to one Tim Tebow. It seems as though you can't be anti-tebow because it's like saying you don't like little babies, puppies or apple pie (and yes, I'm on the fence with all of them). I don't dislike the guy, hell, never met him. I just see him as the 2nd coming of.....Vince Young (you didn't think I was going to say Christ right?). Yea, he's 6-1 this year starting and the TEAM has gone from worst to first in the division. I personally think they are winning in spite of Timothy. Here's a look at his wins:

@ Miami - 80% of the fans were for the Broncos since his collegiate team was honored. Won after a TD, recovered onside kick and Miami conceded 2 pt. conversion
@ Oakland - Starting a QB who was sitting on the sofa in his drawls 2 weeks prior
@ K.C. - 4-5 Chiefs who lost their best offensive player and defensive player weeks ago
NY Jets - defense scored as many points as he did, but he made 1 drive...so he gets the credit
@ S.D. - 2 missed fgs by a suddenly shaky kicker allowed them to stay in the game
@ Min - Rookie QB, Best player sidelined by injury, top FIVE defensive backs out

Again, I'm rooting for Tebow (much like Alex Smith and Caleb Hanie) to do well enough to get their teams into the playoffs so I can promptly bet my 401K against them. I tend to think "winning" causes blindness to the shortcomings of the point man. Vince Young was a winner as well...until everybody realized most of his wins came against the bottom feeders of the NFL (sound familiar?). Now, you couldn't trade VY for a box of Wheaties. So, until Timmy's time is cut short when he actually has to play the position....run Tebow run...and I will be at the pay window when you fall flat.

Sorry for the bootlegedness (not a word) of this. These NFL network guys crack me up every week with the adlibs.

Press Play

2011-11-30T18:00:00.004-06:00

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Video action on tap for this installment.

While watching my Saints trounce the Giants, I stopped mid sip of my Belgian beer as I saw our tight end (pause) show why stretching is important to prevent injuries.

Same saints game, same trouncing....Drew attempts to Mimic a young Michael Jeffrey Jordan with the "Cradle Dunk". Might want to get a boost next time.

Suh was wrong for doing it but I like the outright underestimation of the entire world's intelligence for him claiming this happened because he lost his balance.

I think Mr. Magoo #2 should have thought about the old proverb "Don't start nothing, won't be nothing"

Return From Bye Week

2011-11-16T10:51:00.003-06:00

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A few random observations since the last post.....

I think we are getting close to the first ever professional team (Indianapolis Colts)to just forfeit a game like you would in elementary if a few of your players got sick.

I think Mister Alexander's (Texans LB) parent's have won the award for the most unique, yet least creative name ever.

Speaking of the Texans, there seems to be a lot of calm for a team that just lost it's starting QB. Schaub wasn't setting the league on fire but passing the torch to a gentlemen who was viewed as a bust and who passed on 2 opportunities to be a starter THIS year sounds like a recipe for a questionable finish over the last 6 games.

I had the opportunity to watch the free UFC fight that lasted less than 2 minutes as well as the 12 round title fight in boxing in the same night. I just can't wrap my arms around 2 130lb men punching each other with zero ability to knock the other one down and that being scored....only to have the usual outrage at the decision. Give me 5 rounds max in the octagon any day. Wake me up when Tyson comes back.

Tim Tebow has set the quarterback position back 100 years. 2 for 8 passing in one game. That's the numbers quarterbacks put up in one single possession. He can't play the chiefs and dolphins every week though. Sell your stock while it still has value

If anybody has seen Rey Lewis's jock strap which he was shaken out of by Marshawn Lynch, please return it to the lost and found. Thanks: Mgmt.

This has got to be the longest time between touchdown to celebration that I've ever seen. It's also the quickest way to ensure your girlfriend doesn't get a second go at being a cheerleader. Jerry does NOT play that.

Good week last week...you'll just have to take my word on that.

Fraud Alert

2011-11-04T09:04:00.002-05:00

With my Saints playing last week as though it was week 4 in the preseason, I was subject to some heckling by other teams fans. Losing to a winless team . During that ridiculing I realized that a few people are setting themselves up for a severe letdown by trusting in a fraudulent situation at the QB Position. Top 5 frauds masquerading as semi-elite qbs

Matt Ryan - If for no other reason than his nickname is Matty Ice. This is presumably because he's ice cold in big games and doesn't get rattled. Has taken his team to 1 playoff game and got absolutely boat raced. Easy on the ice, literally.

Joe Flacco - I can't give credit where it's due to the person who stated it. It was noted that with being 6'5, having a strong arm and agile for his size, he has all of the intangibles. Do you know what's better than intangible? TANGIBLES.

Alex Smith - Here's a former #1 overall pick who has been in the league 7 years....7 horrible years. Now he's leading a team that's 7-1 and I'm hearing he's hit his stride. If you married someone who couldn't cook anything better than ramen noodles for 7 years, then one day they surprised you with hamburger helper....would you say it's time to host a large dinner party? I didn't think so

Tony Romo - He, like Flacco, puts up numbers to keep the fantasy players happy and keep the Cowboy fans groaning. Don't trust him with your wife, kids or the ball in the 4th quarter. I asked one of my cohorts to list their top 5 suspect qb's and he purposely listed Romo twice....says alot

Tim Tebow - We all know Tebow isn't elite. He's not even approaching avg. Ok, let's be honest, he'd have to improve to get to not very good. I think he's almost at the point where he'd have to consider switching positions. I can honestly say he may be the only NFL starting qb that I wouldn't want qb-ing my flag football team.

Sweepstakes?

2011-10-27T11:20:00.008-05:00

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After the 62-7 domestic violence that occurred between the Saints and Colts this past weekend, I think it's evident that we are in full fledged tanking mode for a few teams. You may have heard the common phrase "Suck for Luck" which refers to teams trying NOT to win in hopes of landing the supposed can't miss Stanford QB who is expected to be the #1 pick. Players will constantly announce that they won't throw games being that a lot of them have performance based incentives in their contracts. Management, on the other hand, will say the same thing but their actions can prove otherwise. It's clear the Colts entire organization gave up on the season (also the reason I will bet they won't ever cover a spread this year) and Miami is still playing hard but it's head scratching how you manage to lose a game when you're up 15 points under 4 minutes to play. Lose your starting QB for the year? We'll play the backup even though there are a handful of veteran free agent QBs better. This usually occurs in the NBA but now that the NFL has a rookie wage scale, the #1 pick is again coveted. I haven't seen this blatant an attempt since the Spurs sat David Robinson down for the entire season and landed Tim Duncan. There's only 16 games in the NFL and no ping pong balls to determine the order. Lowest number wins and it looks like a few are content to stay on zero to see if they can get lucky (bad pun). Only downside is Luck may not be as good as they think. There's no recent evidence of #1 QBs being busts though....right?

I thought streaking died when Will Ferrel went on a naked jog down the street in Old School...this college senior found a creative way to bring it back (he still went to jail though). (slight issue with the blog video...linkage to youtube below)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g325BVLWm8U

Home Stretch

2011-10-20T18:50:00.008-05:00

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I'll go on the record and admit that this years MLB Playoffs has been one of the best in recent memory...at least that's what I keep hearing. I don't recall ever getting this many "did you just see that" texts in years prior. I tuned in to watch the opening game of the World Series between the St. Louis Cardinals and Texas Rangers to try and see what all the hype was about. It should be noted that by tuned in...I really mean I flipped back and forth between the game and Survivor on DVR until the 8th inning and it was still close so I watched from then on. My lasting impression of the game, ironically, was questioning why we need refs/umpires in baseball. There isn't that much going on and with the pitch tracker and "hot spot" camera that debuted, I don't see the need for some potbellied bloke calling balls and strikes. I'm almost certain that's not MLB's goal.

What's wrong with this sentence? (aside from the incorrect punctuation and structure) Donovan McNabb was traded WITHIN the division from the Eagles to the Redskins...benched for Rex Grossman (who just got benched for Jon Beck), traded to the Vikings and subsequently benched for rookie Christian Ponder. Next Stop: Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio

Red Headed Step Child

2011-10-14T09:42:00.000-05:00

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Stepping cautiously to not sound completely insensitive to those affected by the looming work stoppage of the NBA, it's evident that nobody cares...or at least not that much. Perhaps it's due to the fact that the NFL has just gone through this and most fans who follow both sports aren't interested in following back to back lockouts of billion dollar corporations. Or perhaps, like me, it's because the most watched sport is back in full swing. The NBA lockout is like having 2 kids. One of them just dropped out of high school and the other is working on their doctorate at an Ivy league school on a full scholarship. Guess who won't get talked about much to your co-workers at lunch. And yes, I'm fully aware that comparison is evidence that I should never have any off-spring of my own.

With the Detroit Lions now being 5-0 to date, it brings about this question. How are the decisions made on which cities are uplifted when a team is doing well? When New Orleans was rolling, there were mini Katrina documentaries before each game. Now the Lions are (supposedly) reviving the american car industry with all the blue collar workers making Fords wearing their Barry Sanders throwback jerseys. Why don't we get the documentary on the San Francisco's residents being inspired and renovating the golden gate bridge or Buffalo fans...well, I have no idea what there is in Buffalo so we'll just exclude them for now. The point is, I want the 5 minute Bob Costas monologue on whatever team is playing. All cities can be uplifted to a different level by their team doing well. Some just have a different starting point.

No words for this video. Although, I do think I'd have some words for whoever designed the route we'd take during this race.

What Comes To Mind?

2011-10-06T11:30:00.003-05:00

We're 25% of the way through the NFL season and that's enough to formulate an opinion on the goings on to date. Here is how I see it thus far...

1)Green Bay – The REAL Dream team
2)New Orleans - The only team that can keep pace with Green Bay in scoring
3)Detroit – Megatron nickname is starting to make sense for Calvin Johnson
4)Houston – The Loss of A. Johnson for a few weeks might be an issue
5)Baltimore - Rey Lewis isn't the reason for success, but he'll take the credit
6)New England - Defense couldn't stop a nosebleed
7)San Diego - Destined for a first round playoff loss
8)Tampa Bay - They win ugly...but they are winning and that's what counts
9)Buffalo – Check back in a month. I suspect they might slide several spots
10)NY Giants - The Best Manning in football today....
11)Washington - Rex Grossman will eventually be...well, Rex Grossman
12)Tennessee - Matt Hasselbeck carrying the team on his bad back
13)Atlanta - Aside from Dallas, quite possibly the most overrated team
14)Oakland - Could make some noise if they ran the ball 80% of the time.
15)NY Jets - The formula should have Sanchez throwing as little as possible
16)Dal – Goes wherever Romo drives them. Sometimes, it's in reverse.
17)SF - Coaching staff's only request to Alex Smith, "Don't be a Hero".
18)Pittsburgh - Looks like everybody got old over the summer
19)Philly - Can't block, can't tackle...other than that, things are perfect
20)Chicago - When your punt and kick returners are your 2 best receivers....
21)Cincy - Defense is playoff worthy. Offense is college bowl game worthy
22)Vikings - I don't think the record reflects the talent
23)Cleveland - Looks like the Madden Curse may be back in town
24)Jacksonville - I'll put it this way, you can get a lower level seat for $40
25)Den - The fans THINK they want Tebow....they will get their wish shortly
26)Ari - Bad News, they are 1-3. Good news, 7 wins could win you the division
27)Car - Cam will be rookie of the year, while leading them to a 4-12 record
28)Sea - T. Jackson is making it hard for future SWAC qb's to get drafted
29)Kansas City - Starting TE/WR/S on injured reserve. That sums it up
30)Indy - Without manning, 0-16 a real possibility
31)St. Louis - Was supposed to be the breakout team of the NFC West
32)Miami - Your #1 seed in the "Suck for Luck" sweepstakes

This video shows why family day at the ball park isn't the best idea no matter what country. I need to brush up on my foreign languages...but I believe what she says translates loosely to "Sit yo ragglyazz down"

Open for Suggestions

2011-09-29T10:05:00.003-05:00

A little change of pace this week.....I found myself last night "cleaning" out the DVR and realized that if I were to erase all shows that were sports related, I would be left with some slim pickings. Don't get me wrong, I love my Sound FX, The League and random ESPN shows. However, my non sports shows that have made it through the years are starting to approach the inevitable period where they jump the shark. CSI Vegas has gone from Grissom, to Langston and now to D.B. Russell played by Ted Danson. Every time I see him on the screen I keep waiting for him to pour a beer and go into flirt mode when Kirstie Alley walks through the door...assuming she could still fit thru that door. I can't fully commit to "reality" shows that involve pro sports "wives" whom can't mention who they are affiliated with, aren't actually married, and don't like each other but for some reason spend a few hours a day hanging out. Leverage continually amazes me with how everybody knows how to contact the crew for help but the bad guys never see them coming. I took a friend's suggestion and watched a show called Wilfred which featured a man talking to a dog. Only thing is this dog was a man wearing a dog suit. It felt weird at the time (like, "am I trippin?" weird) but being that it was different from what I normally watch, it held my interest. Please, help the program-challenged out. Give me a suggestion on what I should be watching...or at least listening too while I'm doing something else, probably sports related.

I found this video highly offensive. I should not have to be subjected to this. A flag for "Indecent Cuppage" should've been thrown and the FG should not have counted as a result (9 second mark)

(Correction: last week's season total for correct winners picked should have been 20)

Ethically Speaking

2011-09-21T12:56:00.001-05:00

Another week in the books in the sports world and life in general. I couldn't help but weigh in with a rant on the Mayweather vs. Ortiz fight that seemingly pitted people on opposite sides of the spectrum with no in between. It should be noted, I am no boxing fan (aside from Tyson fights of yesteryear) and I am not a Mayweather fan or apologist. I keep hearing the word sucker punch being thrown around like pancakes at 9AM in an IHOP. That word is sometimes interchangeable with a lack of sportsmanship displayed when referring to Mayweather. I am not so much concerned with the sportsmanship anyone displays if it's not against the rules. Is it sportsmanship to run a hurry up offense when you know the other team is tired? Wrong to attack an injured part of the body in a contact sport? Wrong to feign injury to get yourself or teammates more recovery time? The answer to those will depend on which side of the line you're on when it happens. The part I am more concerned with is the term sucker punch. Granted, it wasn't the most ideal way I'd pick to end a main event, but it happened. Did anybody forget that Ortiz went street-fighter with an undeniable intentional head butt to Mayweather? Anyone notice that the ref, who said fight and then looked to the scorer's table instead of having the fighters go to neutral corners, escaped any criticism? In any sport where the ref says lets go (or puts the ball in action), it's game on whether you're ready or not. If you get caught slipping, shame on you. In this particular case, any mention of being dirty or sucker punched from Ortiz's camp falls on deaf ears after an intentional head butt followed by a punch. There is also footage (link below) of Ortiz showing what a real sucker punch is when he ILLEGALLY upper cuts his opponent when the ref steps in to break it up. That earned him a DQ. I can't help but think that if the roles were reversed, the public cry towards the mouthy, brash and unapologetic Mayweather would be "You got what he deserved". But since he's atop the mountain and walks away with his record unblemished, he'll once again be the target of non complimentary jabs. Pretty Boy, "Protect, yourself at all times".

http://www.worldstarhiphop.com/videos/video.php?v=wshh2Q4HBXJ58BK72Gzk

I did however enjoy this video that shows the post fight interview with the crypt keeper, I mean, Larry Merchant. If you're doing the math at home, that'd make him 30.
(FYI: A couple curse words thrown about)

Speaking of protecting yourself at all times. How would you feel if you were this guy who was just standing and minding his own business? Helluva internship eh??

Not What It Seems

2011-09-14T21:20:00.001-05:00

The first week of the season reminds me of the subtle warning on your rear view mirror that reminds us that objects in mirror are closer than they appear. What I mean is, every year after the first game, there is a great overreaction to the first game. I can assure you the Steelers won't get blown out regularly, 1/2 the starting qbs won't throw for 300+ yards every week, Cam Newton won't regularly channel his inner Warren Moon and a handful of starters won't get hurt the first time they run full speed in a game. Of course, Tony Romo will continue to choke away games. Alas, some things in the mirror are as they appear.

A couple of quick videos will suffice for this week. Neither of them are about Serena informing the court referee that she is unattractive...on the inside.

This video reminds me of a speech my dad gave me once. I figured as I got older I would understand it, but I still don't. Perhaps this coaches explanation will have a similar affect. Either that or he really is just pointing out that we need more dogs.

This video is a clear cut indication of when you are TOO comfortable at the job. This would be equivalent to you coming to work in flip flops or "club ready" on casual friday (and yes, I know a few of my readers can relate). Needless to say, I hope he is announcing this loosely every week!

Went through the normal growing pains of feeling out week 1. My against the spread numbers will usually be a fraction of picking straight up winners. I'd put a little discretionary income on the chargers and raiders lines this week...if that were legal

Laissez Le Bon Temps Rouler

2011-09-07T20:00:00.000-05:00

Amidst natural disasters ccurring in unusual locations in the country, an uncertain economic climate and the Detroit Lions being the #1 bandwagon pick this season....at least one thing is right with the world. Futbol-Americano is back in full swing. In preparation for my beloved Saints being the opening game, I'll keep this short (by my standards anyway).

This is what I expect from this year:

AFC Playoffs - Patriots, Chargers, Steelers, Ravens, Texans, Jets
Possible - If Manning's neck doesn't keep him out past 2 games, I'd be willing to pencil the Colts in and remove the Houston "This is their year...again" Texans
No Chance - Cincinnati Bengals, who let their starting QB faux retire, top 2 WR's leave and starting running back just got out of jail again. At least he got to choose when he served his sentence as to not disrupt the team (if there was a sarcastic font option...)

NFC Playoffs - Falcons, Saints, Packers, Cowboys, Rams, Eagles
Possible - The Cardinals are in the NFC West, where 7 wins could get you in. If Kolb is somewhat decent and throws the ball to Fitzgerald like his life depended on it, they could replace the Rams.
No Chance - Carolina Panthers, who will start a qb who's NFL play calling experience, up to this point, has been from Madden on playstation.

The NFL's little brother kicked off this past weekend with Maryland making a fashion statement. At first glance, I wanted to make a few statements of my own but we'll keep it PG. I wasn't sure if I turned to a real life Power Rangers cartoon or if my tv was about to crap out.

I couldn't figure out if this video showed a genius way to successfully not spend any money when being asked to participate in a wedding OR overvaluing technology. Somebody better have a real sad story for me to volunteer looking like an idiot (well, moreso than usual) walking down the aisle.

Finally, the picks are back as usual. I was called out by just picking winners since that's deemed "easy". I will still pick the winners each week (bolded) but also will be picking against the spread (highlighted in red) for each game too. Not to go gambling 101 but at the end of the game add or subtract either the + number or - number to that teams final score and if it is higher than the OTHER teams score with no addition or subtraction, you picked the right spread. I'll save the parlay and teaser talk for those of you who are in dealings with Tiny and Knuck Knuck.

Jedi Mind Tricks

2011-07-26T07:57:00.021-05:00

Greetings and salutations all. I figured I'd rant quickly (by my standards) about the NFL since they are "back". Back...hmmm, I didn't know where they actually went. I received several texts referring to fantasy football and of course proclaiming "Football is back". This lockout went on longer than I initially expected, although I never thought they would miss a regular season game. The only casualty from this was the Hall of Fame Game which is the first preseason game and the 1st of 5 preseason game for the 2 lucky teams tagged to play in it this year (4 is the normal amount of preseason games). Aside from some charitable functions and events which the NFL Players Association are affiliated with, I don't think too many people were affected when the NFL left (excluding team employees of course). This lockout was like you missing your co-worker who decides to go on a 2 day vacation on Saturday and Sunday. Under normal circumstances, if you are a fan who ranks somewhere within this scale,

you probably would've gone about your normal summer business and then realized football was back somewhere around preseason week #2. Those that would notice probably rank somewhere in here (which may or may be applicable to yours truly).

Those are under normal circumstances. The NFL somehow benefited from all this legal posturing and became even MORE popular. A friend of mine seemed relieved that the NFL was back until I reminded them that in seasons of recent memory, preseason never started until august. The media hype and constant coverage had the masses feeling like they were missing football NOW as well as in for a rather boring fall and winter. (Perhaps this is when the evil that Ray Lewis spoke of was to take place)... view 1:30-2:15 if you're in a hurry

Whew, crisis averted. I'm glad the issues got resolved and we are now guaranteed to not "miss" football for another 10 years. The veteran players will get more money, lighter training camps and extremely better helthcare coverage after playing. The owners get 52% of the total revenue and massively reduced rookie contracts. The fans get....well, nothing changes on that end.

The whole point is to be back you have to first leave. There hasn't been a missed regular season game in almost 25 years. The NBA, on the other hand, will show you how a lockout is done. Alas, welcome back NFL. I can now click buy now on my sweet, albeit ill marketed, rapper football jersey.

WELCOME BACK

First to Blink

2011-06-08T10:53:00.005-05:00

Putting all conspiracy theories aside that the league is somehow attempting to make this a 7 game series, the current back and forth between the Mavs and Heat appears that we are headed that way. I still have the Heat winning in 6 but either way, they are firmly in control of their own destiny. It’s now a best 2 out of 3, they have 1 game left in Dallas to get a win and no matter what the final game will be on their home court. They have not finished well in the finals, but all things considered, I’d much rather be in Miami’s position than Dallas’. I would like to mention that it was a pleasure to have Lebron watch game 4 from my sofa. Hopefully he decides to attend game 5 and give the Heat a boost.

Not much change with the ongoing NFL lockout even though here recently they have had a series of “secret” meetings. We made need to redefine what secret means. I would hope they figure something out soon as the NFL network appears to be running on fumes. They recently featured a show on the Top 10 Left handed quarterbacks of all time. There have been about 35 left handed quarterbacks in the league....EVER! I guess I have a Top 10 players under 5’7 episode to look forward to when the NBA gets locked out after the season.

If anybody is interested in watching a tournament that is set up for either the US or Mexico to win, the CONCACAF Gold Cup is in full swing.....anybody? Hello? I tried. (I should point out that this is soccer...just to eliminate confusion)

Make no bones about it, I think once you reach a certain age, you should be banned from operating anything with wheels. But I absolutely can’t stop watching this. And I love the women golfer doing the turn-your-back-cover-your-mouth-walk-away-laugh routine.

The 3rd movie in the Summer 6 pack is history. X-Men: First Class. Initially, this was to be Magneto's feature film, which is evident with the storyline. However, a bulk of the focus is on establishing how the Mutants came to be and what drives them. With the exception of Hollywood taking a few creative liberties, the transition from the comics to the screen was pretty accurate. It almost had to be with a 2 hour plus run time. I'm an X-Men mark so take this for what it's worth, but I would say this could possibly be the best installment of the X-men movies to date. It's definitely in the running. And just so we are clear, I have never attended a comic book movie dressed in costume or attended a comic-con convention.

Consistently Erratic

2011-05-16T06:49:00.010-05:00

Back from the depths of nowhere to bring forth another installment of information that should be read in the same room where porcelain can be found. Let's take a quick look at the NBA Playoff Picture shall we? We shall....

Heat/Bulls
I originally saw this being a 5 or 6 game series with the Heat prevailing. After seeing the Heat drop the first game last night I'm more inclined to think that number has to be 6. Their opening loss shouldn't be too surprising considering Lebron and crew celebrated their victory over the Celtics by stopping just short of pouring champagne over each other. I was waiting for someone to slap them with the "Hey, this was just the 2nd round" stick...if such a stick existed. My rationale for going with them can be summed up with this text [verbatim] that I got during game 1 Sunday:

"Really, how do you beat the heat in a series? If wade/bosh/james play at this level for the next 5...how do u beat that? Once Jordan and Pip got rolling, they never lost. The other pieces were interchangeable. U can't stop Jordan and Pippen for 4 games. Shaq and Kobe eventually got stopped...same with Magic and Kareem, but a second coming of MJ and Pip?? Athleticism and both have the ability to bring the ball up the floor, lock down wing defenders and can kill you in transition. How do you beat that?" My response "You don't". And if the Heat lose this series, don't blame me....clearly I was persuaded into picking them.

Mavs/Thunder
Is Oklahoma City known for having alot of rain? Always wondered that. Anywho, no texts to piggy back off of on this one. The 9+ days will be good for the old legs of vets like JKidd and I think Dirk "Diggler" Nowitzki is an absolute matchup nightmare for the Thunder. It's rumored that Durant will guard Dirk and if that's the case, Westbrook will throw up even more shots for the Thunder since Durant will use up energy attempting to limit a pure scorer. To me, that's a strategy that benefits the Mavs. Dallas in 6

I give credit to Mr. Ochocinco for somehow staying relevant OFF the field even though he has been less than relevant on the football field the last few years. I even give him mad props for attempting this. I only hope that those who deemed this to qualify as "1.5 seconds of riding" would be present the next time I'm due for a raise.

In a change of pace, I'm through 2 movies that I've dubbed my Summer 6 Pack. Actually it was like 8 but I couldn't admit to wanting to see the Smurfs and threw out the Green Lantern to get to 6. My post game thoughts on them without spoiling anything for your "waiting for redbox-ers" of the world.
Fast Five managed to string together scene after scene that had me laughing at the total disregard for believability. With that said, I loved it. I can't say the same for Thor. Simply put, I'm not a Thor fan and this movie didn't convert me. If you have no previous knowledge for the God of Thunder or slightly like him, then you'll love this movie. It was the best 3D movie (effects wise) that I've seen (and no I didn't see Avatar in 3D). Both movies did the "hidden scene" after the credits. Can we just go ahead and move that up to say...right after the movie? Or perhaps the goal is to have the audience acknowledge John Doe as the key grip?? Hangover 2, X-Men First Class, Transformers 3 and Captain America round out the rest of the Summer 6 Pack....in case you were wondering ;)

Final Bore?

2011-03-22T13:32:00.009-05:00

Welcome back for another installment of "I can't get back that 10 minutes of my life". If you hadn't heard, the final four has descended upon Houston this week. Typically this time of the year, we are wondering how Cinderella could keep the party going just one more game and possibly win the whole thing. This year, Cinderella brought her sister (and I'm not talking about Spinderella from salt-n-pepa). Every few years we see a non-powerhouse college make it to the final four, but seeing 1/2 of the final four represented by the likes of Butler and VCU brings about the obvious point. The talent in college basketball is more watered down than a happy hour shot of patron at the bowling alley. Butler was a Cinderella team last year, lost their ONLY NBA worthy player to the draft....and made it back? How's that possible? People were ready to boycott the tournament behind the fact that VCU aka the last team selected, made the tournament and now they are in the semifinals. Realistically, I think the winner of the Uconn/Kentucky game will dominate them in the championship game. However, I will be pulling for the "right" side of the bracket and hope vcu/butler can keep the glass slipper on 1 more night and win the whole thing. Then maybe the NBA and NCAA will finally do what's best for the quality of both leagues and change the NBA eligibility requirements from 1 to 2 years minimum of college. Until then, every NBA draft reminds me of Chris Rock's line after showing up to a bar late at night.... "I feel sorry for those guys who gotta pick a wife outta this bunch."

Side note, if anybody is keeping up with Dancing with the stars, shoot me a message when Ralph Maccio breaks out the crane. Either that or when another contestant decides to sweep the leg! 20 to 1 that one of those will happen.

I leave you with this finish of a foreign basketball game I saw a week or so ago. I have so many questions after watching this. Was his son playing? Did he have money on it? Did he NOT have a co-announcer? Would he have had anything left if the game went into OT?

Where to Turn

2011-03-13T22:20:00.007-05:00

Welcome back after a long hiatus off of blogging. I'm not sure what "person" that last sentence is in...if there are any English majors out there feel free to let me know. It is with a heavy heart that I attempt to pound out this blog. My beloved football (NFL) will potentially be shortened or non existent this upcoming year. Think of the fantasy, Sunday/Monday, and Madden video game implications! The average person finds it hard to understand how a 9 billion dollar a year (let me put that in numbers for you...9,000,000,000) corporation can't figure out how to split up the funds without coming to this. This = the NFL owners locking out the players. The main issues at hand are the owners want more return on their investment, 2 extra regular season games, and an adjusted rookie pay scale (aka the Jamarcus Russell rule). The players would like to remain close to the current structure which includes them getting 60% of the revenue while somehow figuring out how to compensate its injured and retired players with better health coverage/benefits. As a result of this stalemate, the NFL Players union disbanded and 10 players (including Brady, Manning, Brees) have filed suit against the NFL in hopes to prevent them from being locked out for the upcoming season. I'm no longer holding my breath for a normal season and will start reading up on "Pottery for Dummies"...or idiots if you will.

If you didn't fall asleep after reading that, NCAA tourney time is upon us. For those of you (like myself) who will figure out ways to watch this while at work...be advised, this year the games will be on a myriad of channels (aside from the usual CBS only) so you can choose which games you want to watch in it's entirety. Check your local listings...starts 3/15. I've filled out my bracket of integrity. You should put about as much faith in this playing out as I'm predicting as you would in Charlie Sheen making a coherent sentence during an interview.

I ran across this video, well it ran across me...I found it to be of the car wreck variety where you don't want to look but you can't stop looking. FYI, maybe you shouldn't watch while eating lunch.

Changing of the Guard

2011-01-09T12:17:00.007-06:00

Pretty interesting week since last post. 3 for 4 against the spread on my playoff picks, cashed in on Baltimore trouncing the chiefs, and ended up breaking even when the Auburn Tigers inexplicably tried a qb sneak from the kneel down formation... Congrats to the couple of you that cashed in on the playoff parlay. I was almost accosted (as tho I'm a player or coach) by a co-worker who lost quite a bit after the saints loss to the seahawks. I think the amount was somewhere between "does he HAVE to go to a private school" and "remember that timeshare we were gonna buy?...".

Hopefully the league will employ the A list refs and announcers this weekend. After a replay challenge, one ref stated that a player got his 3rd foot down (which is impressive in any sport) and I almost turned off the game after an announcer stated "That's just a bunch of big...sloppy...bodies...banging into each other". Let's keep this thing G rated this weekend fellas.

Before a look at this weekend slate of games, I'll admit that I watched the premier of "The Game" on BET. I will only watch this show to see what happens and will have no rooting interest. If I start a statement with "I hope Melanie and Derwin...", please stab me in the neck with a rainbow colored candy cane before I complete that sentence. Please and thank you.

Baltimore (+3) at Pittsburgh (-3)
Typical coin flip game. Usually a 3 point game with one 9 point win thrown in over the past 5 meetings. I'll take the steelers to win and only would bet a Baltimore tease to (+9 or 10)...if legal of course

Green Bay (+3) at Atlanta (-3)
Still trying to get the seahawk taste out of my mouth. This is "supposed" to be N.O. vs. Atlanta part 3...alas, it is not. I'll take Green Bay to win and the +3, possibly moving it to +9 or 10 to be safe similar to the previous game.

Seattle Seahawks (+10) at Chicago Bears (-10)
Seattle beat the Bears earlier in the year in Chicago. Albeit this was before the temperatures dropped to freezing. I'll take Chicago to win but I like Seattle to cover the +10.

New York Jets (+9) at New England Patriots (-9)
I was talking myself into the Jets pulling off the upset. That was before NY's cornerback Antonio "what's my kids' name again" Cromartie let everyone know that he thinks Tom Brady is something that rhymes with Bass Pole. I'll take New England to win and wouldn't be surprised if Bellicek and crew try to hang half a hundred on the J-e-t-s jets jets jets. Pats win but move the line to -3 or -2.

*That's 3 teasers and 1 parlay, for you gamblers scoring at home. You know who you are.

Fresh Start

2010-12-25T08:36:00.008-06:00

Let me start off by wishing everyone a Happy New Year. Been on a somewhat of a hiatus from posting, partially a forced one due to the powers that be. Really, just a lack of Internet but saying powers that be kind of makes it seem more important right? Maybe not. Nevertheless, we're all set with the playoff match ups in the NFL, not to mention in full swing of the bowl games in college with a game every night leading up to this weekend.

Speaking of NCAA bowl games, this year batch of names featured or features such gems as the Compass Bowl, Humanitarian Bowl, the Pinstripe Bowl and the Fight the Hunger Bowl (my personal favorite). I was actually asked when the Self Esteem Bowl was over the holidays. This is not a bowl but now that I think about it, it should be. Pit the 2 worst teams against each other and let them fight for the right to NOT be the worst college football team.

Here's a quick look at the match ups for the opening round of the NFL playoffs aka Wild Card weekend.
#6 NYJ (+3) at #3 Indy Colts (-3)
You have to go back to Bush Jr's first term to see the last time the Colts weren't in the playoffs. However, if the Jets can find a way to put up 21 or more points, I think they should be able to pull off the upset (at least based on seedings). I personally wouldn't bet this game.

#5 Baltimore Ravens (-3) at #4 KC Chiefs (+3)
Another "upset" in the making. Cassel's lack of playoff inexperience will be the deciding factor. Take the Ravens and the 3 points, ya know, if that was legal.

#5 N.O. Saints (-10.5) at #4 Seattle (+10.5)
First time ever a team with a losing record makes the post-season. Saints should roll and set up the 3rd meeting of the season against division rival ATL. I don't bet Saints games but if you do, I think that spread is too high for right now so tease the high Saints line down to -4.5 or bet Seattle's +10.5.

#6 G.B. (+3) at #3 Philly Eagles (-3)
Quite possibly the best match up of opening weekend. I wouldn't be surprised to see the Packers win this one but with Vick taking a weekend off to heal (not too be confused with a dog heeling....too soon?), the Eagles should be able to eek this one out. Too close for my gambling comfort.

Take a moment and look at the right column place your votes for AFC/NFC winner. This won't be used for anything other than polling the public....who am I kidding, try to have the votes in before the spreads move ok?

Hope your holiday season is off to a good start. A couple vids before signing off.

This is to remind you that you don't have to jump over every hurdle that life throws at you.

If they keep "dougie-ing", I will keep posting...altho, Drew shouldn't teach anybody how to.

Roll Em

2010-11-29T12:31:00.015-06:00

Back for another installment of the the series. I will have my DVR set for Lebron's return to Cleveland tonight. I think they should have a wager line set for when some fan loses it and makes his (or her) "decision" to run on the court. It would probably look like this:
Pre game Warm-ups +300
Powder Toss (Even)
Right after he dunks on Anderson Varejo -400
(Remember to call 1-800-parlay if you have a serious problem)

I fail to realize how Andre Johnson delivered a 3 piece special (hold the biscuit) to Mr. Finnegan and walked away with a fine of 25,000 with no suspension. If I was James Harrison (doesn't he look like James Evans??) I would be having a closed door meeting with the Commish on how I continually get fined 25k for tackling quarterbacks and AJ going Ali warrants the same fine.

I'd like to welcome Steve Johnson to the club of "I won't be surprised if...". He joins Latrell Sprewell, Mike Tyson and Stephon Marbury to name a few. After being the villain on this play...

He tweeted after the game (more than likely in that wife beater): "I PRAISE YOU 24/7!!!!!! AND THIS HOW YOU DO ME!!!!! YOU EXPECT ME TO LEARN FROM THIS??? HOW???!!! ILL NEVER FORGET THIS!! EVER!!! THX THO..."
I to will never forget that drop...more so because it helped the steelers cover my 3 team teaser bet....thx tho

Ironically one of my fantasy teams could be in jeopardy due to my running back breaking his hip. Clearly I am not referring to the RB Mike Tolbert who continues to put his hips in motion.

There seem to be a few questions as to why the video of Blake Griffin paused a few times last post. That was to highlight some edits I made. Of course you can click on to go to youtube to view in larger/clearer fashion.

Holding Out

2010-11-22T17:42:00.013-06:00

Back in the saddle after a week off. I went a hypothetical 11-5 in the NFL picks last week (you'll just have to trust me on that one). After another loss the Vikings, unsurprisingly, told Brad Childress (aka the coach that most looks like a pedophile) to take his ear piece and hit the highway. If my last name was Kubiak, Singletary or Lewis, I'd start checking to see if my 401k can rollover. Unfortunately the pending lockout will keep some real fireworks involving former proven coaches such as Gruden and Cowher from being big time factors. Hopefully that holdout won't last too long where games from the season are affected. The players need to look no further than Vincent Jackson (San Diego WR) who held out only to have the owner not budge one bit. He will play his first game this Sunday after signing a contract for 583,000 because he didn't want to play the whole season at $3.268 million. The point here, the players will feel the loss of revenue long before the owners.

Of course if a lockout does happen in the NFL and NBA...we may have to look at what i call the pseudo sports. Golf, Bowling, Horse racing, and Nascar. Maybe nascar shouldn't be considered even a 1/2 sport unless they add at least 2 right turns during the race. I will now go drink a bottle of lighter fluid at the thought of baseball being the only major sport for a whole year.

Can you guess which guy should not accept a friendly cup of coffee from the other at the next production meeting?

Quick vid of Blake Griffin emulating the human highlight real. I think it's time someone shared that his hairstyle does not match his ferocious play.

Happy Thanksgiving. Don't forget to set those fantasy lineups. Trifecta of NFL games Thursday. Be safe on the busiest travel day of the year.

Change is Good

2010-11-10T21:21:00.006-06:00

Bonjour to all who stopped by for another installment of randomness that is sure to negatively impact your IQ. A quick hitter this week with a few vids although I do have to mention the Cowboys were the first to fire their head coach. The dynamic of the interim coach during the season is always humorous to me because they come in with a list of new ideas and game plans to try and right the ship. Imagine you're floundering at work and eventually get let go only to have one of your employees get promoted and they break out a new organizational structure and clearly defined spreadsheets. Wouldn't you wonder where all these bright ideas were while you were standing in front of management and nobody had anything to say??

It should be noted that he's on record as saying he didn't want to dance but was talked into it. I think when your entrance goes as long as the other starters entrances COMBINED....it may be time to scale back sporty

Usually if I am channel surfing and I run across a pro league on that is not the NFL/NBA/MLB, I may watch a play or 2. I caught this play and I'm still yet to figure out how this makes any sense. Canada.....you gotta do better

I heard this ad on the radio and thought it was a joke. I was even more surprised to see it's an actual commercial. I thought they only did this to us on the news....shameful!

Remember to hug yourself a Veteran today.

Halfway to Nowhere

2010-10-31T21:38:00.013-05:00

It should be noted that there was a Champion crowned last night in baseball. It seems as though MLB has thrown in the towel as far as ratings are concerned. They knowingly scheduled 3 of the 5 games for the World Series against the Heat's 1st game, Sunday night Football which featured the last 2 Super Bowl Champions, and Monday Night Football. Either they said "screw it, this is our schedule" or overestimated the following of their sport vs. the other major sports. Newsflash......you're JUST ahead of hockey. If it wasn't for a 21pt. game at the time, I probably wouldn't have seen the last 3 outs of the baseball season.

One of these days I will convince myself that what I'm wearing does not directly correlate to the Saints success. Until that day I will continue to change clothes at halftime of games I'm worried about. That is all.

NBC is counting down the weeks until Week 11 which is when they can start flex scheduling of the games (where they choose which game to broadcast sunday night). Until then we are stuck with promos of "The Cowboys are in town playing for pride". Really? When did they start doing that?

The Vikings show you how a team in disarray goes about business. They trade for Randy Moss (who quickly realizes that grass isn't quite as green as he envisioned when he left New England), get irritated with Moss and 4 games later release him. All the while the head coach finally thought he got rid of Favre to injury, but like a stubborn tree roach from the swamp...he keeps coming back.
(I actually said "They killed Brett" when I saw this)

Not the costume aficionado...but for my money, lil homie gets a 10/10.

Midterm Report Cards (I took avg of the 2 quarter grades...just trust me here)
*click to enlarge

A Rallying Cry

2010-10-27T22:29:00.017-05:00

The NFL is built for parity but there is a fine line between that and the log jam that is created by inconsistent and/or bad play. The Chiefs and Chargers are an example of this on opposite ends of the spectrum (bad team the last few years on the rise and completely the opposite for the Chargers). However, let’s not confuse bad play by the likes of the Saints, Cowboys, or Vikings for driving that parity point home. Week 8 Marks the halfway point of the season and there still is no clear cut favorite (whether you gamble or not) to win it all or win week to week. The exception to that perhaps is the Steelers. Typically, we would be able to identify the contenders from the frauds by this point. It seems that may be delayed for another few weeks. Of course the Cowboys are the exception to that ;).

In case you blinked, MLB's World Series has begun. Personally, since the Yankees aren't in it I'll be modestly rooting for the Texas Rangers, but I wouldn't mind seeing the SF Giants get a ring. If for no other reasons than their pitching ace being called "Big Time Timmy Jim" and their closing pitcher channeling his inner Pirate.

I'm not sure it's the greatest thing in the world that I have to ask "now who is this again?" for some members of the Heat that's not named Lebron/Dwayne/Chris. I don't doubt that they have the talent to overcome this, but I have never seen a team generate the buzz that this team has around them. There is a "Heat Index" permanently affixed on ESPN's home screen, King Jaffe Joffer type security already reserved for their impending trip to Cleveland, and one company has already produced their championship rings with diamonds from Sierra Lione. Ok, the last part was made up but would you be surprised? They will need several games to gel and no doubt be a contender....there just needs to be a wait and see approach to a team whose players have one more championship than you and me.

Nike has a way of putting commercials together for it's stars who've had their reputations tarnished like no other. It's surprising that the likes of Charlie Sheen some stars in tinseltown hadn't enlisted their services. The latest installment is the artist formerly known as "King" James

There was a list of the top 100 players of all time that the NFL network put together. This is what Deion Sanders aka Primetime (pronounced pryyyyyyme tyyyyme) thought of his ranking of 34

Middle of the Road

2010-10-18T20:41:00.006-05:00

Finally a post a little earlier in the week. I've caught a little flack about my sporadic posting which either means more than 2 people actually read this crap or more than 2 people have been so bored that had nothing better to do than read this crap. Either way (points to the right), remember you can sign up so you don't have randomly check this during the week.

In the NFL it's becoming apparent that you will be unable to separate the elite from the non elite in most divisions (we won't even mention being able to consistently bet) at least for a couple more weeks. It does bring me some joy to say that's not the case with the Dallas Cowboys (haboutdemcowboys!). You have teams as much as 3 games below .500 that still have a relatively decent chance at making the playoffs and in some instances winning their division. Parity is what the NFL is built to accomplish and this season is driving that point home, thus far.

Switching to the collegiate ranks, Boise St. now has to feel like they've been standing outside of the club for 2 hours now and keep getting passed over for the popular, more sexy individuals. I'm not saying that OU isn't the best team in the country. I'm not saying that a 1 loss Alabama team isn't better than Boise. I am saying that the voters can't keep talking out of both sides of their mouths and claim to show Boise St. (and TCU for that matter) respect only to keep leapfrogging them in the rankings with the next available undefeated school from a major conference. Eventually they will run out of sexy picks to jump them and have to rank them #1 or #2 which would put them in position to play for the national title. That's exactly what they don't want, so then and only then, will we get the long awaited playoff system that would prove to be the fairest option for all those claiming to be contenders, hopefully. (Using We as tho we ALL want a college playoff system. Plenty of people would rather watch the mating habits of ants than Boise St. in a national championship).

One vid before the picks. Undoubtedly, one the most vicious hits I've seen this year. Ironically, it was a clean hit if you break it down per the rules, but I think the aftermath caused the refs to call a penalty and ultimately Robinson will be fined and/or suspended. The league now is making a concerted effort to crack down on these types of collisions (which I'm not sure you can when you have 255lb men running 4.3 40's). I personally don't believe much will be done until someone doesn't get up from one of these.

Pinch Hitter

2010-10-14T22:38:00.009-05:00

If you've seen anything in the realm of sports over the past week I'm sure you've heard or seen a multiple times superbowl winning QB getting called out by a 16 year old pop star for having a similar hairdo, 2/3 of the new most hated team in the NBA having hamstring issues, and of course Brett Favre texting pictures of himself to ladies wearing his wrangler jeans in bed....well minus the wranglers.

Here's a couple things you may not have seen over that span

Quite possibly the leading candidate for Best endzone celebration thus far. (How many years do we have to wait until something is considered old school or a throwback?)

I've watched soccer from the lowest level to the highest level and yet this was the least expected celebration I would have expected. Well 2nd least, the first would involve a donkey. Apply that however you see fit.

This guy makes flipping the bird at your opponent seem more outdated that windpants.

One Lap Down

2010-10-06T22:22:00.014-05:00

Good Friday once again. One of these days I'll get it right and post earlier in the week. A couple questions before we take a look at where these NFL teams stand at the 25% mark.

Can anybody tell me why Mike Singletary wears a stopwatch during games? What could he possibly need to time?? My guess is he thinks this is practice and the games don't count yet.

Is there nothing better than October when you can get the start of the NBA season, MLB playoffs, and of course the NFL season. Oh yea, NHL starts there too...Golfers almost have to hit a hole in one off of a spectators head to make the top 10 during this time.

IF you could purchase the animal in this commercial, how much would you be willing to pay? I'd be willing to go to $2000 if it stayed this size.

Report Card Time. I played a Jedi Mind Trick to save space. Click on the pics to enlarge (for the cpu challenged)

NFC (left), AFC (right)

Quick Hitter

2010-09-30T22:35:00.007-05:00

Good Friday peoples. Just dropping in to pass along a couple things for this week. I'm a year older but not an ounce wiser *as evident by breaking my 3 game rule in betting :(*. That'll come in due time, hopefully.

Anytime you have a FG Kicker miss a game winning FG that 50% of fans, including myself, feel like they could have made.....it shouldn't come as a shock that the FGs you kicked that got us to and won a superbowl last year are quickly forgotten. The result of that? Take a seat Garrett Hartley and let 46 year old Jon "former kicking consultant" Carney have a go at it this weekend.

Ocho's cereal is for charity so I'll excuse the blatant rip off of cheerios. However you can't excuse the company for accidentally putting an 888 instead of 800 for the charity hotline on the box in which when you called you actually were dialing up a sex hotline. Ocho tweeted "get your morning sugar". I only hope that came with a towel

I'm not really a fan of Wayne Brady but if you can get Mike Tyson dancing and Bobby Brown to participate in a parody that refers to himself, you can call me a fan for a day.

Report Cards due up next week

Gaining Steam

2010-09-20T21:13:00.009-05:00

We are at the halfway point of being able to establish the pretenders from the contenders. I think by week four you can officially stop being called a fluke (KC, Tampa) or officially a bust (Dal, Minny). I do think we are getting a little ahead of ourselves (hadn’t figured out who “we” refers to yet) by having the Texans ranked #3 in the most recent expert power rankings, but a win this weekend against the Cowboys and we’ll forget I mentioned this at all. A win for the Texans would simultaneously put Wade Phillips on a seat as hot as a car with the seat warmers on in Texas in July. Luckily, for those on “bust alert”, 2 weeks is enough time to right the ship….if they can.

I think it’s evident that by Favre’s post game comment of “If we make it, we make it. If we don’t’, we don’t”, that a couple more losses might end up with Favre exiting stage left to cut grass on his tractor wearing wranglers and a straw hat by Thanksgiving.

It seems Mike Vick’s play over the last couple of weeks has earned him an extended stay in the starting role for Philadelphia (rightfully so). It also seems that while he was serving as the Wildcat/Backup QB, those opposed to him being on the team quieted down. Now that he’s back to starting, he is being subjected to the backlash again for what had him out of football for a couple years. Just let the man play. *This is in no way shape or form related to the fact that he is my only viable option at Qb in one of my fantasy leagues…maybe a little*

Now, I’ve witnessed every super bowl champion’s qb as far back as I can remember getting multiple endorsements the following season. The Manning’s even got a joint OREO deal. But can you tell me why super bowl XLIV Drew Brees is doing 30 second Walgreens ads about his sinus?? With his wife?? Flag on the play. At least he got a cameo in Entourage.

It may be time to send ESPN a letter asking that they drop this whole sports science segment. Maybe it’s just me but watching sports is not enhanced with me knowing that a 350lb man can accelerate at 40 ft per seconds squared or generate the same force from his legs that a horse does when jumping.

Quick summary of this vid: Man enrolls in Ohio U to tryout to be mascot. Man becomes mascot. Man drops out and enrolls at different university but maintains job as Ohio U’s mascot. His only reason for wanting to be mascot is shown. I personally love his dedication and decision. I also would like to be informed on what a buckeye is please. Thank you

No summary needed for this one...

Sprinting in Slow Motion

2010-09-16T21:49:00.005-05:00

Week 1 of the NFL season produced very few classics to say the least. Even the close games, for the most part, were a result of offenses that looked rustier than my bmx after being left outside to be rained on for 6 straight days (sorry, had a moment). I don't think anything 100% definitive can be pulled from what we saw (other than the Raiders will more than likely suck up until the day I am eligible to draw social security). There wasn't even a single end zone celebration that caught my eye. Perhaps everyone's focus is on the impending owner's lockout that will hover over this season week by week.

Ladies and gentlemen hide your dogs, Mike Vick is back! I'll go on record that the head coach would like nothing better than him to be "just ok" in week 2 to avoid any QB controversy. Then again, maybe the Philly fans are clamoring for Vick to join the likes of Cunningham and Mcnabb. You can never have enough scrambling quarterbacks that will lead you to losing in the playoffs year after year.

I'd like to thank Denard Robinson (QB from Michigan)for helping me go 2 for 2 on my parlay picks last week. If you combined both picks into a single bet you would have gotten 12 to 1 on your money. I, of course did not and am open to suggestions to the proper footwear one should have when I attempt to kick myself in the face. Nevertheless I went to the same sources for this weeks bets but something tells me when the phrases "at gun point" and "I'm guessing" are prominently involved....I may want to scale back the $ amount I wager this week.

A good weekend to all....and if it's going bad for you at any point, just keep watching this video to know that it could be worse....ALOT worse.

The Wait is Over

2010-09-02T18:16:00.011-05:00

The NFL season is set to kick off Thursday. I can't tell if it's taking longer to get here or if I'm just anticipating it more every year. I am against the proposed 18 game season (yes, I said I'm against more football) which would have the season last a little longer into the calendar year, but last I checked they didn't take into account what I suggest so I'll just watch and attend games as usual. After watching the preseason games, looking at the schedules and taking into accounts the new faces in new places....here's how I think it will stack up this year.

AFC North
Baltimore Ravens - added 3 B level WR's to a sub par passing game. The only questions are, does 4 B's = 2 A's as far as production? Will the Defense hold down the fort while Ed Reed misses 6 games with his injury?
(2) Cincinnati Bengals, (3) Pittsburgh Steelers, (4) Cleveland Browns

AFC South
Indianapolis Colts - Until Peyton hangs it up I won't NOT pick them for this division
(2) Houston Texans, (3) Tennessee Titans, (4) Jacksonville Jaguars

AFC West
Kansas City Chiefs - Kansas City, welcome BACK to the playoffs. I am trying to talk myself out of this but it's more and indication of the Chargers and Broncos take 2 big steps BACK that it is of the Chiefs making the jump.
(2) San Diego, (3) Denver Broncos, (4) Oakland Raiders

AFC East
New England - The Hard Knocks consensus says this is the Jets division to lose. Let's not forget they had 2 games handed to them at the end of the regular season last year to make the playoffs (did well when they got there) and they are going into year 2 with Matt Sanchez. The Pats are more consistent when it counts
(2) NY Jets, (3) Miami Dolphins, (4) Buffalo Bills

*Bengals and Jets make playoffs via wild card

NFC North
Green Bay Packers - They were ready last year but the chips didn't fall their way due to Minnesota having Favre play out of his mind. Minny will fall back to earth and alot of that has to do with a 40 year olds tender ankle.
(2) Minnesota, (3) Chicago Bears, (4) Detroit Lions

NFC South
New Orleans - I know surprise surprise...this really goes against conventional wisdom for a few reasons. There has been no NFC South repeat champion, EVER. The Madden curse and the Superbowl Hangover. I think the Bless You Boys buck that trend this year.
(2) Atlanta Falcons, (3) Carolina Panthers, (4) Tampa Bay Buccaneers

NFC West
San Francisco 49ers - Arguably one of the worst divisions top to bottom in the league. The 49ers should have the formula to win this division with a solid D and top tier running back
(2) Seattle Seahawks, (3) Arizona Cardinals, (4) St. Louis Rams

NFC East
Dallas Cowboys - This will be a tight race but looking at the rosters on both sides of the ball, the Cowboys have the best talent and by far the best running game
(2) New York Giants, (3) Washington Redskins, (4) Philadelphia Eagles

*Falcons and Vikings make playoffs via wild card

When you run out to the mound to confront a pitcher, much like a special teams player in football, you GOTTA keep your head on a swivel. The audio overlay is hilarious.

I've never had the chance to catch a foul ball at an MLB game. This guy makes it look relatively easy.

I edited this video down to capture the highlights of the tomfoolery that occured in the stands at a U.S. Open tennis match recently. I may be wrong for laughing...yet I don't care...I even took the liberty to misspell a word in my captions

Fantasy Sweepstakes

2010-08-01T10:38:00.006-05:00

......Hey yo. It's been a slow few weeks, one of the reasons for no postings. Fortunately the NFL training camps have opened and we're a week away from the first preseason game (good thing because I thought I was going to have to talk about the thrilling victory that Canada has over the U.S. in men's slow pitch softball). Needless to say, this means fantasy football is upon us. At the risk of giving away some of my strategy to those I'm in leagues with, here is a quick Fantasy Preview (as well as when some of you hit that x button to close the browser).

I've done a couple mock drafts and it appears as though choosing "can't miss" players at certain positions will be somewhat of a crap shoot this year. You're a lock to get one of the premiere running backs at the 1-6 spots and it starts getting questionable after that with teams that have unproven rookies or fully entrenched in the running back by committee mantra. If you don't get one of the top 6 guys you still will have good value at the 7-12 positions (assuming you're in a maximum of a 12 team league that is not a points per reception league). Of course Andrew Johnson is worth top 10 consideration if you miss the top 7*. Ideally you would like to get two starting RBs but considering how thin it LOOKS, you may find more value mixing in a premiere qb (brees, p. manning, rodgers) in above the 8-"the rest" running backs. Similar to how you could elevate a premier TE (Clark, Gates) to as early as Round 4 if you miss out on your top 5 WR and want a sure bet..or the closest thing to one.

As of right now thru one week of training camp my Top 3 in each category look a little something like this.

Stock Up
Carson Palmer/T.O./Ochocinco - decent running game in place and a viable #2 to take away double teams from Chad. I think this elevates Carson to borderline top 5 qb. If they get decent production out of Antonio Bryant, Palmer could be looking at his best numbers in quite a few years.

Aromashodu/Hester - You would have to believe qb Jay Cutler won't throw around 30 INTs this year now that offensive guru Mike Martz will be calling the plays for the offense. He will figure out a way to utilize the former's size and the latter's speed

Tony Romo - Like Carson he will benefit from the addition of another play maker on the outside in Dez Bryant. The cowboys should arguably have one of the most formidable passing attacks in the league.

Stock Down
Brett Favre - Not so much a knock against him as it is reality. He threw his fewest INT's ever in his career last year and I don't think that will repeat itself. Also at age 40, his recent ankle surgery may play a factor as the season progresses.

Larry Fitzgerald - His bookend WR (Boldin) went to another team and possible Hall of Fame QB retired (Kurt Warner). From what I've seen of incumbent Matt Leinart, I hope i'm not faced with the decision to take Fitz or pass on him.

Steven Jackson* - Reason for the asterisk earlier with top 7 Rbs. He IS the St. Louis Rams but has to tote the rock a little too much. Back surgery in the off season mixed with the fact that he's not on a very good team, has a rookie qb, only score 4 total td's last season despite 1400+ rushing yards sounds like the ingredients to an "I'll pass" sandwich

Coin Flip/Possible Sleeper
Shonn Greene - will be his first year starting at RB. Has a great offensive line but there is a very small sample size to go off of here. IF LT has something left he could lose some touches on 3rd down.

Kevin Kolb - Has only 2 starts under his belt but Philly will continue to be a pass first offense under Andy Reid. Mike Vick may vulture some goal line scoring opportunities from him but won't be considered a threat to taking his spot (save for an injury)

Joe Flacco - I hate to use the term "breakout" year but he is heading into his 3rd year as starter and went from 14 to 21 in td passes while keeping his INTs at 12. They are in a run first offense with the talented RBs they have but the addition of Anquan Boldin will allow them to not be so one-dimensional like the Ravens of old.

That's a quick summary for now. Hit me up as usual if you have any retorts or questions about my lists. Well, that is if you're not related to me or have the screen name of Victorious Secret or Golden Taints....there is money involved!

The Decision

2010-07-11T16:30:00.000-05:00

Dap dap salute to all wasting time reading this idiots opinion on this today. The World Cup has come to a close with Spain on top of the soccer world for the next 4 years. After watching Ghana choke away a victory in the quarterfinals after beating the U.S., it hammered home the fact that the U.S. missed a golden opportunity to elevate soccer in this country. When you ONLY have that opportunity once every 4 years...you can't assign a value to no capitalizing on it. Anyway, we all saw (or at least heard) about "The Decision" that Lebron made in going to Miami last week. I'll rant on this for a moment diffusing a couple of opinions from both sides of the equation. If you're tired of the Lebronomy at this point you may want to skip over the next paragraph.

The options he was considering were the Clippers, Bulls, Knicks, Heat, and Cavs. Considering winning is what he said his main angle was, the Clippers were immediately out as nobody goes their unless they are drafted or hoping to advance their Hollywood career (hey Baron Davis). He essentially had to leave the Cavs once the big name free agents stated they would not come to Cleveland or signed elsewhere. The Knicks I feel was Miami-lite in that they had a scoring big man in place (Amare) and would potentially add another star the following year such as Tony Parker or Carmelo. With that said he chose Miami who now is considered the Eastern Conference favorite or at least top 2 contender. I personally think Chicago would have been the more ready made choice if he wanted as close to a guarantee of winning as possible. That was the only team that could both afford him and provide him with a team that had either all star or above average players at every position except for his once they signed Carlos Boozer. He chose south beach (by the way, there is NO stadium in south beach so whatever talent he is taking there will surely be a pay per view exclusive) with his boys. I'm not faulting him for that.

I do fault him for the hour long special if he knew he was leaving Cleveland. I gave him the benefit of the doubt thinking he would use that platform to throw himself at their mercy for leaving. I realized at the end of the special he should have just tweeted "South Beach".

I did like that he went full Rickey Henderson and started referring to himself as Lebron James. He is getting an unfair rap that he couldn't win by himself like the other greats so he had to go get help. "MJ would never have joined the Pistons". Well, Lebron wasn't losing to the Heat/Raptors. He was losing to everybody else so he joined forces to take on the Lakers and Celtics of the NBA. Plus Jordan wasn't exactly friends with Isaiah, as evident by his non inclusion in the original dream team in 1992 thanks to Jordan's disapproval. As I recall the Lakers/Celtics of yesterdecade (not a word) and today as well as the Bulls of the 90's had a top dog and at LEAST 1 to 2 other sure fire or borderline hall of famers on the roster. Lebron has always been a distributor of the ball by nature. Can you blame him for wanting to dish to Bosh/Wade over Delonte "I swear those aren't your mom's shoes?" West and something called an Anderson Varejo?

I would, however, suggest he sell his house in Akron and move every sibling/cousin/aunt/etc... out of town IMMEDIATELY. Those fans were NOT happy. I was thinking nobody went from being loved to hated in less time than Lebron until Bill Simmons drew the ironic parallel to what happened with him to what happened in this vid(mad I didn't think of it first...i can take credit for editing tho)

Just a word of advice, if you're in foul ball territory, get off the phone or invest in a headset.

Since I'm handing out advice. If you're fighting someone that means to do you harm. Don't make it easy for them.

Speaking of fighting(I'm on a roll with segways!), have you ever seen a fight between grown men where you would laugh for 3 minutes before trying to break it up?

Who's Got the Fever?

2010-06-19T15:23:00.010-05:00

We are almost at the make or break point for ALL teams in the World Cup at this point. A few teams (almost all the African teams) fate has already been decided either positively or negatively as it relates to advancing to the next round. The U.S. is still in good shape needing just a win to advance to the elimination rounds. The elimination round will be your standard playoff bracketed format. Win and advance, lose and go home. No more ties (they will play extra periods if need be and go to a penalty kick shootout after 2 extra periods if still tied). The last games of the group play will be played simultaneously in each group as to not give any team an advantage of "knowing" what they need to do to advance. As a result I will be in full 2 tv mode during the US/Algeria and Eng/Slovenia matches. Is it too early to drink beer at 830 a.m. local time?

To clear up a point from the last entry. Being that you can't return after getting subbed out, some players buy a little extra time rolling around on the ground to assess their injury when they aren't THAT injured. Don't confuse this with the 80% of players who are being exposed by these super slow mo replays in HD for taking dives when another player gets within a foot of them. It's passed the point of irritating already with the number of fouls/cards/ejections awarded for these players channeling their inner Vlade Divac.

One good thing about the ref who disallowed (wrongly) a potential game winning goal by the U.S. against Slovenia is the fact that he did it, well, against the U.S. Clearly this country is not behind soccer to the intimate levels as other countries or he may have already have needed to be placed in a witness protection program. When a Colombian player accidentally scored on his own goal (against the US) back in '94...someone decided to correct his mistake a month later...with his life.

While we're dealing with Africa, shout out to Manute Bol who passed away over the weekend. First and foremost he was quite the humanitarian for his homeland, also the tallest player (or 2nd depending on who you ask) ever in the NBA. Has also been reported he was accidentally the originator of the phrase "My Bad". Have fun with that pointless bit of information!

I'd be remissed if I didn't quickly address Kobe being almost as good as Michael Jordan. Kobe is now 5 for 7 in NBA Finals with 2 Finals MVPs and 1 regular season MVP. Jordan was 6 for 6 in the finals with 6 MVPs and 5 regular season MVPs. Jordan would never have been on the absentee ballot for 3 quarters in a game 7. For my 2 cents, he's the best thing SINCE MJ...but he ain't.no.michael.jeffrey.jordan.

That Kobe/MJ conversation reminds me of how we assign hall of fame status to good to above average players over a given period. Are we required to say, "well, he was one of the best over the past 10 years so he HAS to be hall of fame" Just because you make me choose from limited options of whether I'll eat pigs feet, day old bread, or drink spoiled milk doesn't mean they are equivalent to food at a five star restaurant. Of course I'm not speaking of Kobe's merits regarding the hall of fame....but I am pointing a long uncle sam's finger directly at you Ray Allen.

Signing off with a video of the fastest 90+ year old in the world. For my money that's like being the person with the least body fat weighing over 300 lbs but we all know I'm an idiot.

Points of Interest

2010-06-14T10:51:00.011-05:00

We are now fully entrenched into World Cup 2010 and judging by the number of people who've asked me questions about it and soccer in general since it kicked off Friday, I figured I'd take the opportunity to point out a few things of interest. I won't go complete soccer 101 but most questions center around these:

The World Cup format does a round robin group play initially. Each group consists of 4 teams and everybody within the group plays each other once. 3 pts. for a win, 1 for a draw (tie), 0 for a loss. Top 2 from each group move to a single elimination tournament. By all accounts the US should advance out of group play to the elimination tourney. Winning the whole thing, well not so much.

Offsides is when an offensive player is behind the last defensive player (not counting the goalie) before the ball is passed towards him.

There are no timeouts (45 minute running clock for 2 halves) and if you get subbed out you can't get subbed back in...which is why you see players rolling around on the ground like they got shot.

The cards...yellow card is a warning (similar to a technical in basketball except you don't get a free kick) and a red card (2 yellows also equal one red). If a player receives a red card, his team must play a man down for the remainder of the match, he's suspended for the next game, and he's responsible for doing the team's laundry that night (or maybe just the first 2).

Do not adjust your television sound. That constant noise that sounds like a swarm of bumblebees descending upon you is the un-ignorable (80% certain I made that word up) sound of fans blowing on there Vuvuzelas (not a double entendre). I'm no fan of it but when in Rome....(or Africa)

Vince Young found himself on the offensive end of a scuffle in a strip club in Dallas over the weekend. My issue with this is that a starting qb (most of the time), for an NFL team, who gets heckled constantly on the road.....could not refrain from fighting when someone insulted his alma mater of the University of Texas by flashing the hook'em horns symbol downward??? Do better VY...do better.

This video could be entitled one second changes everything. It (hopefully) bids farewell to Chuck "The Iceman" Liddell, one of the greatest MMA fighters of all time who's at the end of a storied career. To quote Tony Reali..."He got knocked the career out"

By the time you read this, the Celtics may have repeated history from 2008 in winning a championship against the Lakers in game 6, only this time on the road. I like their chances infinitely better at winning game 6 in LA than I do them winning game 7 in LA. My biggest concern at the moment though is why nothing more was made of Big Baby referring to himself and Nate Robinson as Shrek and Donkey.

I'm Reminded That....

2010-05-31T22:04:00.004-05:00

Hope everybody had a safe and happy Memorial Day weekend. Hat's off to all those who have served, fallen while serving and currently serving. Special salute to the only Sarge I ever had to take orders from.

I don't know if it's deja vu or what but over the last couple weeks everything I see either reminds me of something I've seen before or friends of mine open my eyes to some similarities. It was pointed out that Channing Frye looks like the black Sam Bradford...or maybe Sam looks like the white Channing?

No sooner than I could get a side by side comparison, it was noted that Channing's coach Alvin Gentry is really a south park character

Unfortunately (for them), the Suns couldn't get past the Lakers in part to Ron Artest going from goat to hero in about 20 seconds which conjured up a previous Lakers game winning shot/celebration

I know it's not 1997 anymore but I couldn't help but smile when I saw Dwight go WCW during the game

Here's proof that winning the game for your team does not clear you of impending injury.

In Morales' case (the baseball player), he at least won the game for his team while Gramatica's (#7) injury was after a made field goal in the first quarter. Morales (broken leg, possibly out for season) and Gramatica (torn acl) are prime examples of why you must stay grounded in times of jubilation.

I had to include an animal video...this actually doesn't remind me of anything (other than the fact of why I "respect" nature)

I Only Know What I Know

2010-05-04T09:07:00.006-05:00

Happy Tuesday (or whatever day of the week you read this). Hopefully Mother's Day and Cinco De Mayo (I'm guessing 90% of people don't know why that's celebrated) was enjoyable for you. The past couple of weeks I'm come to the realization of a few things:

-Lebron James is ready to win a championship. His teammates, however, are incapable of helping him accomplish that. For the record, I picked the Magic at the start of the playoffs to win it all (you just have to trust me on this). Other than Lebron, there's not one starter on Cleveland I'd take over the Magic starters. I'd actually take Orlando's 6th and 7th man over some of the Cav's starters....this may be a moot point as they still have to get by Boston.

-Usually when I see a "Beware of Dog" or "Trespassers will be Prosecuted" sign...I don't take it as a faux warning. Disregarding that may result in

I still can't get enough of seeing the video either

-The head coach of the New Orleans Saints, Sean Payton, and an assistant coach are involved in a felonious scandal involving vicodin. Somehow, I overlooked the severity of the alleged crime since my only knowledge of this drug comes from watching House.

-A great way to get the casual channel surfer to stop doing so during a game is to continue looping replays of these guys.

-If I ever got left hanging like this I'd probably not come back out to watch the 2nd half. (Referring to the gentleman in the sport coat coming off the bench)

-We are exactly 30 days away from the World Cup 2010

Taking a page out of another blog (shout out to indulgenceiskey), I was asked what a salary cap is by a few folk for whatever reason. The short answer is the maximum amount of money that a team can spend on it's players salaries for a given year. Going over it (depending on the sport) can result in fines, canceled contracts, and loss of draft picks. It prevents say a Mark Cuban (Dallas Mavericks billionaire owner) from fielding a fantasy team...or at least that's the idea, partially.

A Draft of the Draft

2010-04-16T09:36:00.012-05:00

Alright, 2 cocktails in (just and fyi for the wordsmiths out there) and time to watch the NFL Draft. I'm not sure I've ever looked forward to a draft this much. Maybe it's because the NFL moved it to Thursday so never again will I have to be at a wedding during the first round of the draft (it should be noted that the bride threatened bodily harm to me if I dared to pull my phone out to check the picks while the wedding was going on). Maybe because we (Saints) are picking last for the first time EVER so I don't have to rack my brain about what we need to even have a chance at being a contender. With that said, I've been asked do I think that a repeat is possible. I mean, I've seen people eat the double down "sandwich" from KFC and not go into a cardiac arrest so anythings possible. I wouldn't bet on it for 3 reasons.
1. The Superbowl hangover - There are a good amount of teams that don't make it to the playoffs the following year due to free agents leaving/less time to prepare for season due to post super bowl celebrations and endorsements/less sense of urgency/etc...
2. Plain and simple, it's just hard to win a Superbowl, not to mention GETTING to one.
3. Drew Brees laughing in the face of the madden curse and being this years cover boy. I however was not laughing and just hope this doesn't lead to a scenario in which the words Drew Brees/Injure Reserved/Fate of the Franchise/Mark Brunell are prominently featured in ANY order.
I mean seriously...look at this laundry list http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5125018 Shame on you who voted for Brees....shame.on.you!

Tebow still on the board, I asked the big fella why anyone would pick him in the first round. He reminded me it's because "he's gonna work harder than anyone's ever worked, come early leave late, will his teammates to win *takes deep breath*, you've never seen anyone work as hard...I promise you that!!"
(for those who may be staring blankly at the screen)
n

Denver takes the plunge and drafts Tebow. One announcer states the Broncos just drafted an exceptional human being. Denver, if a civil rights movement breaks out at halftime, you're well on your way to winning that one!

Moving along. In an interesting (using that very loosely) move, a fan at a Phillies game decided that after a patron and his daughter in front of him had his girlfriend removed for unruly behavior, he'd stick his finger down his own throat and vomit on them. I kinda wish I made that up...alas, I did not.

Jay-z (Sean Carter to the suits) is suing MLB player David Ortiz for opening a club 40/40 in the Dominican Republic. He claims its not a play on Jay-Z's name, rather the 40/40 in reference to a player achieving 40 home runs and 40 stolen bases in a year. 2 points here: Ortiz has 10 stolen bases in his whole career and I think this whole thing could have been avoided if he just named it Club Cuarenta Cuarenta.

I couldn't leave without one of these vids. I know the owner if you're having pest control issues in your home.

Tiga Tiga Tiger Woods Yall

2010-03-31T09:57:00.011-05:00

Not really breaking news, but the Masters has started today. If Tiger manages to win this event after months off, and you're one of the other golfers...do you just withdraw from the rest of the events he's in for the year?
*I wrote short summary of Tiger's more than normal scrutiny at the beginning of my post at footbasket.com. Check it out if you are bored enough (should be up by the time this is sent out)*

Who's the guy yelling "Get in the hole!" on every shot tiger has??

Tiger is now walking around looking like a full fledged politician attempting to get re-elected. Wouldn't be surprised to see him kiss a baby in the audience at this point.

A couple weeks ago Ricky Martin announced he was gay...which is equivalent to me mentioning I'm a Saints fan. Can someone tell Ms. Williams to grab that mic and make her announcement while it's still warm?

Did anybody notice there was a sports organization that goes by "WNBA" that held a draft? I wonder if they actually held an event or just set up a yahoo account and did it fantasy football style.

*Commercial break*
Do any truck companies air regular commercials nowadays? You know, the type that show a truck hauling a lawnmower or just a boat. I really don't have a need for a truck that can haul the statue of liberty or withstand a whole building falling in it's bed. I'm just sayin!

Always hate to see a player get injured, especially at the end of the game....but I never expected to see this (video). I wasn't sure whether to give Kudos to coach for calming his player or leave the room so these 2 could be alone?

With McNabb going to the redskins, I'm surprised that I hadn't heard a single rumor of T.O. signing with them. With Larry Johnson, Willie Parker, and Clinton Portis at rb, that could be a formidable offense....if this was 2004.

Public service announcement, 4/5 of Kentucky's roster is leaving for the NBA. Calipari would like you to please have your blue chip high school recruit pick up the gym bag of money from Will Call. Thank you.

Britney Griner/UConn are reasons the women's NCAA drew me in for a few days. The following play(s) is a reason it pushed me back out....although you have to feel bad for her...

I just found this video to be hilarious...nothing more or less. Alas, if animals could speak english

March Madness? I'm Just Mad

2010-03-25T22:35:00.009-05:00

Ok, perhaps I'm not really mad (other than I won't be cashing in on my bracket which now resembles that slipper your dog mistakenly thought was his chew toy), but I am fully entrenched in the madness that comes in march. The #1 seeds are dropping like the list of alleged steroid users Jose Canseco named. I personally think this can be indirectly attributed to the one and done rule that is in college basketball. The Butlers and Cornell's of the world get players with lower ceilings than the Kansas' and UNC's in college basketball but they also get the opportunity to coach a group of players for 3-4 years with a lot less roster turnover. Thus, you get a senior filled, fundamentally sound team versus a big name school filled with good athletes seeing if they can parlay their 1 mandatory year into a national championship. If not, the money from being a lottery pick will dry their tears. There are the occasional Michael Beasley's and OJ Mayo's that end up at non traditional schools for a year, but the usual route is a quick stop at Chapel Hill or Syracuse (what exactly does it take to become an "Orangeman" anyway?). With that said, I won't even waste time predicting a Final Four winner. I just hope it's anybody but Duke.

In the past 30 seconds I just heard Gus Johnson either have seizure or a spider ran up his leg....his excitement while announcing is unmatched. That was followed by his counterpart saying "Confused about a 2-3? Who ya gonna call? Jordan Crawford, Zone Buster". (Let's just leave the jokes to the pro's, ok guys?)

I just realized I'm watching a game in which I couldn't name you one player off either team yet it's one of the best games of the year. I can only imagine if they expand the tournament it will be similar to what happens when you play too many seasons in (insert sports game here) and you don't know any of the players on your roster because they are all computer generated names. Undecided if that's a good thing or not.

Here's a little march math for you....Xavier + K-State = Instant Classic

I couldn't help but think we'd see a shot of Braxton P. Hartnabrig during the Cornell/Kentucky game. (Jamie Foxx show reference for those of you with the :\ face)

I refused to believe Baylor's starting PG was named Tweety (well, until the broadcast team provided us with the background story). I immediately turned up my speakers to see if I would overhear "Tweet...tweet...TWEETY, I'm open!"

Have we figured out why Chism wears his headband around the back of his head? I can't imagine it's stopping any sort of sweat as it's intended to

Quick shout out to Footbasket.com I'll be posting for them here and there. They have quite a collection of blogs on the website so check it out. I will of course continue my idiotic ramblings here.

Happy Early Easter

The Truth and Only That

2010-03-17T10:14:00.009-05:00

Marion Jones playing in the WNBA....I don't know if it makes me want to watch my first WNBA game ever, or completely disregard them as a pro sport altogether. The coach stated "Well, I know she can run, and we'll need that". I'll be sure to keep my eyes glued for the relay race that might break out between the free throw lines.

If I was a golfer I'd have champagne and caviar waiting on Tiger at the Masters. I'm not even sure golf has been on tv that past 5 months. As the old saying goes, it's better to finish in the top 10 in a tournament that Tiger plays in as opposed to win a tournament that he's not going to be in....financially speaking.

Its strange to see the men's basketball teams of North Carolina, UCLA and UCONN in the NIT tourney (aka the Not Invited Tournament). But there is a 3rd tournament...something called a CBI Tournament which is kinda like not even getting invited to the "different kids" prom boycott party and saying, "screw it, video games at my house friday night" (ANY LIKENESS OR SIMILARITIES TO ACTUAL EVENTS, PEOPLE, PLACES, OR ENTITIES, AND ANY SUCH LIKENESS OR SIMILARITIES ARE UNINTENTIONAL AND PURELY COINCIDENTAL.)

As for the women's tournament. I have $100 on UCONN, you can take the field. Any takers?

I know i'm wrong for this...but the Skipper (coach) for the Texas Rangers was recently exposed for failing a drug test (they test the coaches???) last year. He said he only did cocaine that one time that caused him to fail the test. When I saw him addressing the issues....I figured there was no way this was breaking news or his first "line" in life

Untitled...really

2010-03-04T10:25:00.010-06:00

What's good peeps? Just dropping by to pass along some thoughts and vids I've observed in the past week or so. I'm looking forward to march madness this year. I may see how many screens I can possibly have on a different game at one time in the same room during the tourney....well enough of my wet dreams.

You have to ask yourself, at what point did this fan realize he was in trouble?

One of the greatest college football players of all time, but at the same time, Tim Tebow is getting way too much press for an AT BEST 4th (of 7) round pick in the upcoming draft.

She plays somewhat like a man, voice somewhat resembles and adolescent man, but MAN what was she thinking throwing a haymaker in the game? (Maybe she knew something we didn't, a sucker punch only warrants a 2 game suspension...)

I remember being pissed at myself when I lost $100 on a deposit at an apartment after I changed my mind last minute. I almost fainted when I read the (New) New Jersey Nets owner lost $53 million dollars on a deposit after changing his mind about a house (and he was NOT pissed btw).

Am I the only one who thinks it's about time someone do an investigation on these commercials and new product advertisements. I always here "Now with [insert large or rare word here]" and somehow it makes it seem better. I mean, have we REALLY figured out what Techron is yet???

Every year, NFL network host Rich Eisen runs the 40 in his suit. This video for some reason has me rofl EVERY time I watch it and the subsequent breakdown afterwards.

O Canada

2010-02-28T16:42:00.006-06:00

With the end of the winter olympic games for this go round, I was left with a few lasting impressions:

If you saw the gold medal hockey game between Canada and the USA (the one that involved the men...the women's match was more exciting during the post game celebration by the lady Canadians)...you saw one of those rare occurrences where you don't have to be a fan of the sport or participants, you just have to be watching in order to be captivated. It featured a fast paced game where the US pulled its goalie in order to have an extra attacker in the last minute (standard hockey move) only to score a game tying goal with 25 seconds to go. The OT featured 4 on 4 play (apparently an olympic rule only...standard 5 v 5 in OT in the NHL) with Hockey's BEST player (Sidney Crosby) scoring the game winning goal in front of the host country's (Canada if you didn't know) fans. There is no shame in the U.S. losing that game at all. I still will not watch hockey during the regular season (just thought I should point that out)

I think being a play by play hockey announcer has to rank just above being one of those fast auctioneer types but just above being Dikembe Mutombos translator as the hardest jobs that soley rely on your ability to speak.

I watched curling for a full hour and I still dont' know what to make of it. I know the point and the scoring, finally. Its just anticlimatic. I watched a team perform the last throw that clinched a medal in their matchup and the reaction was similar to finding out you won your money back on a $1 scratch off ticket.

And at what point does it become determined whether you are a thrower or a sweeper?

This just in, the USA had the most participants in the olympics and won the most medals as well. Is captain obvious needed to draw the parallels there? We can stop sayin we "dominated" the medal count when I saw at least 20 countries walk out with less people than the Jackson 5.

Who's Got Answers?

2010-02-16T11:40:00.008-06:00

I was thinking of scaling back the blog to biweekly...wait, that's bimonthly I think...either way, not as much, but a few of you bastards actually read this thing and thought I was abducted so you're on the hook for more of my idiotic perspective on things. With that said, in the past week a few random questions have come to my mind and i'm looking for answers...so feel free to give them to me!

Was that the worst dunk contest in the past 10 years? (I'm not joking when I say I've done 70% of the dunks they did)....and while we're on it...FYI NBA, watching people play horse is like watching people bowl, it ain't fun if you ain't the one participating.

If you buy a ticket to view an event in the new Dallas stadium and you're sitting so far away you need binoculars to see the seats in which you'd NORMALLY use binoculars in...shouldn't you just watch at home?

Does it take on the same meaning if I give up football for lent? (50/50 chance some of you won't get that)

Recently saw Book of Eli...to quote my cousin "I didn't know what to expect, yet, it wasn't quite what I expected". My somewhat unrelated question: If you were the last person on earth...would you spend your days looking for some other person, figuring out how to survive as long as possible...or attempt to "get off" this earth as quickly as possible?

While we're here, at what point do you break down and start eating things you wouldn't normally eat (I'll not get into specifics)?

Would it be strange if women's bball players had male cheerleaders?

Is it weird that I would like to be this guys friend?
(He was annoyed by everybody bringing laptops to class)
Video

I don't really have a question here....I just thought this video was awesome. Maybe next time kermit

Lastly, I ask this in all seriousness, what in the blue hell was Darryl Dawkins thinking wearing this in public? This is a special kind of ugly

All Saints Day

2010-02-11T17:33:00.004-06:00

I'm sure by now you've heard the good news. The Bless you Boys aka New Orleans Saints are the World Champions. I've been a fan of the New York Yankees, North Carolina Tar Heels basketball and other teams that have won championships in recent years but I always felt like I was a bandwagon fan. It's not hard to root for a team that has double digit championships before you were born. The Saints winning makes me feel like I had 200 shares of Apple stock from when the floppy disk was hot and never sold out. When Tracy Porter intercepted Manning's pass and took it to the house, my phone essentially exploded. People I hadn't spoken to in YEARS were sending congrats and asking if I was crying YET, drunk YET etc. I actually wasn't any of the above. I didn't know how to react. I'll admit, fluid was sitting on the edge of my eye like a first time parachuter but there was still 3 min + before the game was over. (It's quite possible I pulled a throat muscle but yelling louder than I did the time Hulk Hogan appeared unannounced at a wrestling show I attended). But, when it was all said and done, I didn't know whether to run into the streets slapping people with a fleur de leis, get somebody to pour gatorade on my head, or check my bank account for a sportsillustrated/nflshop.com/anything-superbowl-saints related run which, lets face it, is as inevitable as at least 20 kids being named "Drew" in Louisiana 9 months from now. The focus now shifts to next season and instead of "we need x, x, and x in order just contend"...the talk now is centered around what's needed to repeat. That is a problem every saints fan has been waiting for. Who Dat!

Here is a video of Drew Brees teaching the crowd (after victory parade) the pregame chant at a local bar.

Vegas has the Saints at 7 to 1 odds (4th best) to win next year....if you're into that sort of thing.

The Last Step...

2010-02-01T15:27:00.007-06:00

The jazz song written long ago states all I want for Christmas is...the Saints in superbowl. Well, we got there and hopefully the song can get remixed with the version that speaks of them winning the superbowl. To the Cowboys fans that dare ask me if I question the validity of the previous game against the Vikings because of "questionable" calls in the 4th qtr...I do not care if Reggie Bush drove an F-150 over all 11 vikings into the endzone and all the officials faked an eye seizure during the winning play...we are still going to the superbowl.

There was nothing more odd than the halftime pro bowl dual interview with Drew Brees and Peyton Manning. At one point I thought the host was going to ask them to comment on the size of each other's "manhood". What do you expect those two to do sitting side by side other than trade compliments??

I'm not one to bite on late night commercial advertisements....but I was 2 buttons away from calling and ordering the magic hangers!

In my attempt to broaden my readers horizons. Check out these 2 clips from the Winter X games....try to not gasp too loudly.

My superbowl rant has been a long time coming. This is the week we are to be inundated with stories from Katrina to Archie Manning's allegiance to his son over his former franchise to ankles that are sprained and everything in between. The story that catches my eye, and quite frankly is starting to piss me off, is these "experts" have all but written the Colts name on the trophy. I agree the Colts should be favored slightly, but to think the Saints are dead in the water before kickoff is beyond me. Call it irony, but I think there is a strange reason the Saints have a chance to participate in a superbowl, against the Colts, and in Miami (look it up). This was the exact scenario 4 years ago when the Colts beat the Bears. Throw in my affinity for the #44 and I'll call it fate. The keys to the Saints winning are:
1 - Disrupt Manning. You don't have to sack him, just make him throw before he's ready
2 - Take advantage of EVERY mistake the Colts make. Fumbles must be recovered, tipped balls must be caught
3 - Keep Brees' jersey clean and light up the scoreboard

Superbowl Pick: New Orleans Saints

Who Dat?!

2010-01-25T21:43:00.011-06:00

I couldn't think of a more fitting title to this entry than is stated. There is still the big game to be played but finally.....FINALLY, we got there. The 80's babies who grew up in the whodat nation understand that we have witnessed every playoff appearance (all 7 of them), every division championship (4), and now a superbowl berth. This franchise is over 40 years old and to put it in perspective, 15 teams have never won a superbowl and only 5 had never been (Lions, Jaguars, Texans, Browns, Saints). With the exception of the Lions, the other teams have only been around for 15, 7, and 10 years respectively (original browns franchise is now the Baltimore Ravens). Ironically the saints first play ever was a kickoff returned for a td. Since then, there was a 21 year wait for a winning season as well as playoff berth, 90% chance the team would be moved to San Antonio after Katrina, if it weren't for the objection of then NFL Commissioner Paul Tagliube, no Hall of Fame players and quite possibly the worst derivation of a team name in pro sports (Aints). You can't win the championship if you never get there....we finally did. WHO DAT

I think it's ironic that the qb (Favre) with the most passing TDs ever and most interceptions ever is on the same team as the guy who leads the league in rushing since entering the NFL a few years ago but also has the most fumbles over that time span. They combined for 2 INT and 3 fumbles against the Saints.

Shout out...and by shout out I mean shaking my head....to 7'0 Greg Oden who thought it would a good idea to send a full nude body shot to a young lady...who in turn sold it to an internet site after they broke up.

Cyber Jesus (yes, that's a real person for the last time) passed along this video. Apparently, this video sums up the Vikings fans reaction during the play in which Brett thru that backbreaking 4th qtr interception (fyi: foul language)

I'm not promoting this website...but the song is stuck in my head. I figured I would attempt to make it stuck in yours as well.

2-0 in picks last week. We know who I'm rolling with for the superbowl but we'll get into that next week. It's Pro Bowl Time!! I'm picking the NFC for no particular reason at all.

Recipe For Greatness

2010-01-15T16:27:00.007-06:00

As we prepare to watch who will make it to the Superbowl next weekend, I feel a breath of fresh air sweep over the story lines that were becoming mind-numbing to the nth degree over the past few weeks. The media outlets had all but written Indy/N.O. out of it because of their "struggles" and losses down the stretch. They were already crowning the 2 hottest teams (San Diego and Dallas) as representatives for their respective conferences in the superbowl. But, thanks to Minnesota and The J-E-T-S jets jets jets....it will be back to the drawing board for the bandwagon reporters.

Shout out to New Orleans for playing the "classy" card in signing Deuce McCallister to the roster for the playoffs. His contribution will be 0 on the field but with a possible superbowl run and a roster spot free, they decided to bring in a recent cornerstone in the franchise that has greatly contributed to the minimal success this franchise has seen.

Mark McGwire admitted to taking steroids during his playing career. This was about as shocking as if Wendy Williams came out and said she was a man.

Video of the Year in my opinion. I could no stop laughing at this but, now that I think about it, it could make horse racing a must watch if they implemented this as a legal tactic.

You knew I wasn't going to get out of here without shouting out Reggie for breaking out my dougie after making a couple cardinals defenders look silly.
http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-cant-miss-plays/09000d5d815c4616/Divisional-Can-t-Miss-Play-Racing-Reggie

Last Week: 2-2
Championship Weekend Picks:
Minnesota @ New Orleans
The reason why? New Orleans needs to bring a carbon copy blueprint to this game. Get pressure on an immobile qb and limit the big play to Favre's favorite reciever (Rice). Win the scoring battle with a 2 or 3:1 ratio in the first 4 possessions of both teams and it will be an uphill battle for Minnesota. This will be the first EVER game in N.O. that can send the Saints to the superbowl....I suggest you keep your tvs at a minimal volume level.

New York @ Indianapolis
The reason why? The cornerback, Revis, for the Jets can shut down any particular player on the field. In this game that will more than likely be Reggie Wayne. The only problem with that?, Peyton will throw to anybody with a pulse that is wearing a hoof on the side of their helmet. The Jets only hope is to run the ball effectively to keep the ball away from the Colts but ultimately I do not think they can score enough points to win this game.

Countdown to Forever

2010-01-10T20:13:00.007-06:00

Wild card weekend was definitely not one for the ages. 3/4 of the games played this weekend were over before they even started. Although I was wrong on just about all my picks for last weekend, the divisional rounds will feature (in my opinion, for what it's worth) the best matchups.

I turned on the Green Bay/Arizona game and a basketball game broke out. I've never seen a playoff game feature that much offense from both teams. One would forget that Green Bay HAD the #2 overall defense in the NFL this year behind the Jets.

I was called out about failing to mention how I did in my fantasy leagues this year. I participated in 4 yahoo leagues and 1 NFL league (I know I know). I did not make the playoffs in the NFL league and 1 yahoo league. I finished 4th, 2nd and 2nd in the others. Another digital trophy to add to the digital trophy case

Shout out to Cyber Jesus

I've seen quite a few names floating around the past couple of weeks that leads me to believe I need to list the inductees into the Tim Biakabutuka hall of names. Let's welcome in Roscoe Parrish, Knowshon Moreno, Richie Incognito, Cyril Obiozor, Atari Bigbi, D'Brickashaw Ferguson, Oshiomogho Atogwe, and Macho Harris. Shout out to Peerless Price while we're at it.

I'm on record as now being a fan of Steve Breaston for his endzone celebration (seen at the 30 second mark)
http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-game-highlights/09000d5d815a554b/Wild-Card-Steve-Breaston-highlights

Of course this is the reason why (seen at the 3 second mark)....and yes, that is THE original (dramatic pause) Razor...Ramon

You know you're a good shooter when this happens

I found this video funny. Willis Mcgahee was DE-TERMINED to get his endzone dance accomplished.
http://www.nfl.com/videos/nfl-game-highlights/09000d5d815a3593/McGahee-TD-rush

Divisional Playoff Picks:
NFC
Arizona @ New Orleans
Dallas @ Minnesota

AFC
Baltimore @ Indianapolis
New York (Jets) @ San Diego

Last Week:
1 - 3

Returning For the 1st Time

2010-01-01T13:35:00.012-06:00

It's 2010 if you didn't get the memo or hear the fireworks and random shots from firearms when the clock struck 12. This of course means nothing in the sports world as all champions crowned will still have some form of 2009 in the title. Took a week off from posting, if you were able to survive the seizure that caused, welcome back...if not, it is what it is. Enough small talk.

Let me give you this scenario that happened in the NBA recently and allow you to ponder it. Gilbert Arenas (making 16+ million) and Javaris Crittenton ("only" making about 1 million) are teammates for the Washington Wizards and gambling on a plane. JC leaves the game with Arenas owing him money. Arenas doesn't pay up so JC confronts him after a game. Arenas pulls a gun on him in the locker room and JC pulls one out in return.

Done pondering? I was left thinking: I could see this happening in corporate America over someone stealing food from the community refrigerator...I'm sure the Palace brawl that involved ron artest would've ended completely differently if this team was involved...After you draw guns on a teammate, do you still pass them the ball if they are open?

Is there nothing more annoying than the game switching from HD to non HD during the game?

I'm not sure I would like to be known as a Horned Frog (TCU) by any stretch of the imagination. This actually reminds me of when I was in high school and we went by the Doves. Luckily this was changed to the Lions by my junior year.

Apparently if you are within 7 yards of an incomplete pass during a football play, some excited announcer will say you ALMOST intercepted that ball.

I'll put it to you this way....when the other team reacts like this after a hit, it's probably not a good thing.

That play reminded me of the original "oh #@$#" play seen here in stunning vhs quality.

With that, I bid you all a Happy New Year as well as my picks for one of the top 3 weekends during the NFL season.

Wildcard Weekend Picks:
New York Jets @ Cincinnati Bengals
Baltimore Ravens @ New England Patriots
Philadelphia Eagles @ Dallas Cowboys
Green Bay Packers @ Arizon Cardinals
Last 2 Weeks (Week 17): 23-9
Overall Season: 172-84

Commercialization

2009-12-21T11:41:00.007-06:00

Well, no need to recycle old news. The saints loss to the cowgirls this weekend. 3 reasons why that's not the end of the world (other than the fact it was against dallas):
1 - The weight of going undefeated for an organization that has never even made a superbowl is off now. The pats did it after winning 3 superbowls. The colts are still alive for it, 3 years after winning a superbowl....
2 - There was an invincible feeling around this team. Questionable calls, all the right breaks, key breakdowns always went the black and gold way. The loss proves we're normal
3 - There are still 2 games left which means momentum can be re-established heading into a bye week before a home playoff game.

In other news, forget the national championship...I'm covering the fees for 3 lucky readers to head to one of these bowl games:
LITTLE CAESARS BOWL
MEINEKE CAR CARE BOWL
EagleBank BOWL
PAPAJOHNS.com BOWL
Yes, these are real games....who's with me???

Is it me, or do all the qb's sound exactly the same when they are calling out audibles before the play starts?

Here are a few commercials/vid clips I found to be amusing this past week.

Has anybody seen the perfect brownie commercial? Something makes me want to order that every time I see the commercial. At the same time, something about that guys voice makes me want to meet him and immediately drop kick him in the right nostril. He may have the most annoying voice I've ever heard a man have.

This asian guy makes my day every time I see it

I would imagine if you ranked IQ on the team....this guy would be dead last!

Lastly, not sure how this happened, but mama always said "make sure you have on a clear pair of underwear". Not sure what the ruling is for going commando.

Merry Christmas

Week 16 Picks: S.D., Cin, Atl, Oak, G.B., Hou, N.E., N.O., NYG, Bal, Arz, S.F., Indy, Phi, Dal, Min
Last Week: 9-7
Overall: 148-78

Tuesday Morning Quarterback

2009-12-14T17:56:00.012-06:00

Let me start off with a dap dap salute congrats to my Alma Mater Prairie View A&M University for winning the SWAC Championship. I'm no bandwagon fan and have been accused (rightfully so) of a general lack of support for them. I couldn't miss the opportunity to congratulate them on a successful season, especially following the near decade of ineptness. They won their first game after 80 straight losses my freshman year in '98 and now have completed the program turnaround. Truly an inspirational story....are you listening SAINTS?!

Doesn't Desean Jackson remind you of that little kid you never wanted to be IT in...well, the game of IT because you knew he was gonna catch you very quickly?

Lets slow down the Mike Vick is back bandwagon. Running 1 yard TD's should not equate to a team taking a chance on him next season....non-surprisingly, it will.

If Golf was a stock, when Tiger announced an indefinite leave of absense, wouldn't that stock fall quicker than the Raiders confidence when Jamarcus Russell comes back into a game?

I couldn't help but think one thing when Larry Fitzgerald went down with the knee injury in the 3rd qtr of last nights game: Madden Curse (and this year it's a 2 for 1 special considering Troy Polamalu is on the cover with him).

Was it me or did the Cardinals look like they just met each other 20 minutes before the game last night?

I have no idea what this guy considered himself to be doing during the nyg/phi game but i loved it!

I've been dunked on once in my life and I didn't like it. Luckily it was in practice so I was just ridiculed by my teammates. This vid features D-Fish taking it with NO Protection! Check out his teammates on the bench to the left afterwards.

Quite possibly one of the best soccer goals you'll ever see.

Week 15 Picks: Indy, N.O., N.E., Arz, Ten, K.C., Hou, NYJ, Phi, Bal, Den, S.D., G.B., Sea, Min,
Last Week: 11-5
Overall: 139-69

Quote Me on This

2009-12-03T14:01:00.008-06:00

First of all dats off to Robert Meachem for single-handedly making a top 10 play (see vid) of the YEAR that helped keep the undefeated streak alive at 12 wins and counting. Add an OT victory to yet another way the who dat nation can beat you. I've been re-missed in not saying the word, but wins pulled out of nowhere like that almost have me saying "Desti_ _". As Drew stated, "Maybe it's our time".

Was I the only one who noticed a complete 180 by Mike Vick in his attitude. 2 weeks ago he said he felt like he was being wasted and is not a wildcat quarterback. A game in which he throws and runs for a touchdown in his former playing town of Atlanta and he's sounding like the teammate of the year. "I just want to help this team win a superbowl anyway I can".

I'm not sure what the lineman seen below hoped to accomplish, but he was well deserved of the "C'Mon MAYNE"

When Mike Tomlin (head coach for the Pittsburg Steelers that looks just like Omar Epps, what? he does) said "In December, we're unleashing hell...because we have to" I wonder if that included losing to the Raiders of if he essentially means if we don't make the playoffs we're cheapshotting the superstars on the other team!

If anybody knows how to get a hold of Former Notre Dame Coach, Charlie Weis, can you please ask him how the following was "taken out of context" when speaking about current head coach for USC, Pete Carroll?
"Let me ask you this question: You guys know about things that go on in different places. Was I living with a grad student in Malibu, or was I living with my wife in my house? You could bet that if I were living with a grad student here in South Bend, it would be national news. "He's doing it in Malibu and it's not national news. What's the difference? I don't understand. Why is it OK for one guy to do things like that, but for me, I'm scrutinized when I swear. I'm sorry for swearing; absolve my sins."
Sounds pretty straightforward to me!

Week 14 Picks: Pit, N.O., G.B., Indy, K.C., Cin, N.E., NYJ, Jax, Bal, Hou, Ten, Oak, S.D., Phi, Arz
Last Week: 10-6
Overall: 128-64

Exhaling

2009-12-01T09:10:00.007-06:00

On the heels of watching my saints go 11-0 against the standard of the NFL, my only question is "What they gone say now?" Aside from the NFC championship game against the Bears in 06, this was arguably the most important game in franchise history and was a crucial step in trying to completely move away from the infamous moniker of Aints. 3 notes from the game and I'll leave it at that, for now.
1 - Highest rated ESPN event ever
2 - Mike (best cornerback in the league) McKenzie, [just ask him] played lights out in his first action in over a year.
3 - There was at least 3 hits in this game that got the high pitch "oooh". This vid shows the pats needing 5 yards and getting 4.9 of them before that truck came thru

Tiga, Tiga, Tiga Woods yall. I'm not mad at my man for not wanting to speak to the cops. He's not obligated by law but I think he could have ended alot of speculation if he would've said:
"My wife said if we had some whip cream you could make a hole in one"
"I didn't realize what day it was and thought I would beat the crowd to black friday"
He went the other route and now TMZ is reporting (via phone calls to his "friend") that he and his wife got into it amid reports he had a sideline hottie, she scratched him up, as he was fleeing in his shorts and no shoes, she came at him with the golf club, smashed the back window, he was distracted and ran into various stationary obstacles. This sounds more accurate (to me anyway) than her acting heroically by smashing the window to save him. Just sayin.

Tiga also mentioned he would need to get a Kobe Special to this friend. Friend asked for clarification. Tiga said "house on the finger".

In WNBA news, Marion Jones will attempt to make a roster in 2010. Yea, its that bad.

I remember when I saw Tiger on the sidelines of a Colts game and I thought "that was unexpected". When they showed Prince watching the Vikings game from a luxury suite I was at a loss.

Bobby Bowden (legendary coach at Florida St.) retires at the age of 80 after being given the choice of retire or be the coach in a capacity that doesn't allow you to make any decisions on the field, just wear the head seat ,Florida St. gear, and be a "figurehead" (isn't that like asking him to be the mascot without the costume?). That's just dirty, altho I would take that gig in a second, but that's another story.

My question to the goalie...when you were released from the hospital, do you "accidentally" retaliate?

Week 13 Picks: NYJ, Phi, Chi, Cin, Indy, Den, N.E., Pit, N.O., Car, Hou, S.D., Dal, Sea, Min, Bal
Last Week: 12-4
Overall: 118-58

Larger Implications

2009-11-20T10:42:00.010-06:00

A little change of pace or broadening of the horizons to start this one off. I hope I don't lose anybody early with this one. Recently there was a Futbol (soccer) game between France and The Republic of Ireland in which Thierry Henry committed the most blatant hand ball foul (see vid below) to set up a goal that paralleled the famed "Hand of God" goal by Diego Maradona. The fallout? France in, The Republic out [of next years World Cup in South Africa]. There were petitions and protests to replay the whole game but that would be a slippery slope for FIFA (or any sports governing body) to get involved in. The chance for a non world power to be represented on the global stage of the world cup in the world's most popular sport was gone in one instant. However, the decision to replay any game in which a referee misses or makes an incorrect pivotal call would have us still playing and replaying games from 1992. It's just a shame the only solace for The Republic from FIFA is "My bad".

Its clear Mike Vick has lost a step or 2 in his hiatus from the game. I remember when Tyson went to prison. Why does everyone think athletes somehow come out better after being in the joint because "all they doing is liftin weights". Regardless, there will be a few teams in which Vick should have a legitimate shot at competing for a starting role next year. One of the places is apparently Cleveland in which I received a text "So, if Vick goes to the Browns, would that jeopardize the Dog pound?"

Have we figured out why the Lions get to play EVERY thanksgiving game?

Vince Young may be playing his way back into the permanent starting position for the Titans. Personally, I think that's bad news for the Tennessee faithful.

Monday's game featuring my Saints in their 2nd of 3 prime time games against the Patriots is a not so quiet big game for both teams. With the Vikings playing well and boasting a 9-1 record, it is imperative that N.O. keep the 1 game lead over the vikings in order to secure home field advantage throughout the playoffs. The road to the Superbowl will most likely go thru one of those domes....I would prefer if it went thru the largest fixed dome structure in the world. That, my friends, is a home field advantage.

Finally, there really isn't much needed to be said about this one...altho I do get tired of hearing people question why anybody would go out of their way to catch a foul ball or (insert random sports object). Hell, it's hard enough to catch a t-shirt from one of those cannons mascots use. On one hand I can't blame this guy...on the other hand.....well, just watch the vid.

Happy Turkey Day

Week 12 Picks: G.B., Dal, NYG, Atl, Mia, Cin, Sea, Car, Phi, Indy, S.D., S.F., Arz, Min, Bal, N.O.
Last Week: 11-5
Overall: 106-54

Monday Morning Quarterback

2009-11-13T20:49:00.018-06:00

Let me first start off by saying that I hate Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers. Of course I didn't before they wrecked 3 straight weeks of gambling for me. The nerve of them. Now that I got that off of my chest

There was a few coaching decisions that happened this weekend. In the Pats/Colts game, the Coach (Bellicek) decided to go for it on 4 and 2, up 6, from their own 28. My friend "Ty'Rell" and I discussed this and my opinion was as follows....Could not disagree more with going for it as well as your rationale for doing so. This was inexcusable on so many levels. You shouldn't even do this on madden unless you're playing against your little sister (and then I would have to ask why are you in that predicament against your little sister). Unless you had the rare instance like the Bengals had 3 years ago in which they had 3 healthy linebackers and 2 of them got hurt during the game, you have to have the SLIGHTEST confidence that your defense can make a play or 3. You speak of playing the odds. We all can and have made free throws. If I told you you had for chances to make one and you didn't on the first 3, would you attempt the 4th with $10,000 on the line or would you defer it to your opponent to attempt shots from halfcourt? Thats essentially what they were dealing with. Yes, they are cocky and that's fine, it's made them a dynasty but to not even think of the worst case scenario PEYTON FREAKIN MANNING FROM THE 30 WITH 2:30 ON THE CLOCK is absurd. That allowed the Colts to have access to the entire playbook as you saw with draws to addai and screen attempts. Plus, they ran a 2 yard route when they needed 2 yards. Like the free throw question, with the options you have, even mr. 3rd down kevin faulk, are you taking your chances with him on 4th and 2 as opposed to welker or moss. Punt.The.Ball

At the same time, there was a decision in which the Jaguars coach instructed his running back to stop short of the goal line (if given the opportunity) and take a knee so that they could run the clock down and attempt a fg. They were LOSING at that point. (It should be noted that I have the rb who did this, Maurice Jones Drew, in Fantasy Football and this in no ways affects my feelings on the decision). This actually ended up working out for them. I think both decisions were equally as risky even though the latter worked out. I'm trying my best not to be a MMQ (see the title) but it's decisions like these that have the average joe feeling like they could be an NFL coach at times.

Looks like that $1 bribe ocho cinco tried was worth $19,999. It should be noted that he has promised to donate a matching amount to charity for each fine he incurs this season. I'm not sure what my thoughts are on that.

I witnessed my saints move to 9-0 in person. There was a little flat play that went on but we were facing a team off a bye, top 5 rb in the league and missing 3/4 of the starting secondary. Still, a win is a win and keeps us in line for that all important home field advantage throughout the playoffs.

Lastly, here's a dance that Maurice (Mr. Kneel at the goal line) has been doing all year. I'm not sure if I think this is funny or borderline gay.

Week 11 Picks: Car, Dal, Det, G.B., Pit, Min, Atl, N.O., Jax, Indy, Arz, S.D., Cin, N.E., Phi, Hou
Last Week: 10-5
Overall: 95-49

Off the Cuff

2009-11-06T20:20:00.016-06:00

Ok, you've seen it now. I won't spend too much time on it but my saints are 8-0 for the first time eva....EVA. I only wish I could hear a clever quip from mi padre about the season thus far. I don't even think I could duplicate what he'd come up with. Stay tuned. (couple vids in this one...subscribers, u know the deal, http://youngrazor.blogspot.com)

8-0 makes me wanna play a song in which I KNOW the big fella will love.

Whats the deal with people on TV not getting their teeth fixed. They are aware that people have large tvs with something called high definition right??

Now, I played a lil soccer growing up...even played some of them against those featured in this vid (estrogen packing), but I think ALL of this warranted slightly more than a yellow card (which is equivalent to a warning).

Never get involved in live betting on any games...just take my word for it. And if somehow you convince yourself to have a bet where the packers and/or aaron rodgers is involved and you NEED a good performance...just stay away from that as well.

Ok, I know Jay-Z had a good performance just before game 2 in which the yankees won...but should that mean he gets to ride on the players float in the parade? I wonder if he gets a ring too.

Chad Johnson...err Ochocinco will be fined most likely for attempting to "bribe" the ref with $1 (I hope he's not)but it was one of the funniest things I've seen him do. I hope Roger Goodell doesn't do him too bad.

In the "some things are better left unsaid" department, former tennis great Andre Agassi has admitted to:
Doing Crystal Meth while active on the tour
Wearing hair extensions under that SWEET white headband
Playing tennis with no underwear....yea..that's what I said.

I'm not sure if he's hoping this will cause people to buy the book or some sort of ploy to ensure he's not on the best sellers list.....EVA

Is it me, or does it look like Miles Austin's teeth double as his mouth guard?

Lastly, 2 "game-time" decisions that seem like they should have been made long ago. Ryan Clark (safety for the steelers) almost died last time they played the Broncos in Denver due to his sickness and the elevation as well as Brian Westbrook (concussed 6 days ago) being "questionable" for this weeks game. I know it's a man's game, but that's asking ALOT!

Week 10 Picks:
Last Week: Chi, N.O., Mia, Min, NYJ, Ten, Cin, Den, ATL, K.C.!!, Arz, Dal, S.D., Indy, Bal
Last Week: 8-5
Overall: 85-44

MVP

2009-11-04T10:17:00.005-06:00

With the ending of week 8 in the NFL, half of the games are in the books for the teams and the talk of end of the year awards have started. This year (as of right now), the top 2 candidates are Drew Brees and Peyton Manning. Peyton suffers from that Jordan syndrome with the voters where every year you could legitimately make an argument that he is the MVP (he has 3) but they have a tendency to want to spread it around. This year there is no doubt in my mind he deserves it with the cast of characters he's working with. That being said, Drew is putting up a carbon copy performance in the NFC and the removal of either of them from their respective teams would be detrimental. If both teams continue on the path of success they are on, there will need to be co-mvp's for the first time since 2003 when manning and the late Steve mcnair shared the honor.

With a name like Golden Tate (notre dame), you almost are destined to be good right? I'm using this theory in the justification of naming my first born Madden....or my dog, whichever happens first.

If you've been sleeping on the world series this year, you're missing one of the better ones in recent years. The yanks will close out tonight in game 6...bet on it...matter fact, I think i will do that. Speaking of one of the better ones, this performance by Jay-Z/Alicia Keys was one of the better pre-game performances I've seen lately

If anybody sees deuce mcallister, tell him i said whats up and we still got love for him in saintsnation.

I got my expected "bandwagon" fan accusation yesterday. I think anybody that's known me longer than 2 weeks may think i would literally bleed black and gold if cut. The bandwagon fan is needed as it increases sales for tickets and merchandise when a team is doing well, but the fair weather fan is like the fair weather friend to me, don't need em! Speaking of my saints, we're 7-0, one more game and the doors are closing for this ride!

Week 9 Picks: Atl, Bal, Chi, Ind, N.E., G.B., Jax, N.O., Sea, S.D., S.F., Phi, Pit
Last Week: 9-4
Overall: 77-39

We Marching Now

2009-10-26T11:20:00.001-05:00

A day early since the Monday night football game will feature a scrimmage of the eagles against the redskins. Wait, this game counts? Anyhoo, I'm coming down off somewhat of a roller-coaster game by my saints. Down 24-3 with 5 seconds to go in the 1st half, I begrudgingly was ready to accept this as the inevitable "trap game" (in which I commented on last blog). I had the following exchange with the Big Fella
Razor: What the hell's going on? Ricky's running like he's mad at us.
BF: Why would he be mad?
Razor: Cuz we traded him
BF: You can't get high all the time and not get traded
BF: By the way, i don't like that "uh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh" song they play all the time
R: I kinda like it!
R: Man we look like the rams!
BF: Don't say that

Following that deep conversation, Brees talked the coach into going for a td instead of the fg (which was successful and we went into halftime down 14). The rest was a resilient effort which means we now have one games by running, throwing, defensively, blowout and comeback. This my friends, is creating the blueprint that's needed in order to be playing when January comes around. Stay Tuned.

This just in: Peyton Manning is clocked in.

Somehow I think the NFL did the Tampa Bay area a favor by having them lose a home game so they could get oven-roasted by the Patriots overseas.

Why do cheerleaders constantly shake pom poms and say "GO (insert team), #1!" when the camera is on them? I wonder if I could persuade one of them to shout out my blog instead.

The next time Tomlinson throws a fit on the sideline when he gets taken out the game, the coach should show him footage the 6+ carries from inside the 1 yard line in which he rushed for roughly -4 yards and no tds against the chiefs. You have a better chance of seeing me on TMZ drinking Hennessey with Kanye on the red carpet than you do of LT in san diego next year.

I always forget "they gotta eat too" when I see a former movie/tv star acting in a commercial. The latest reminder is the Fresh Prince's "mom" pushing fidelity investments. Speaking of commercials, I'm not sure Tyler Hansborough (he played bball for UNC) has enough star power to be recognized on the ATT commercial without at least having his name flashed on the screen in closed captioned fashion.

Thanks to the chiefs and browns for letting me successfully cash in on my 2 team parlay bet this weekend. I should be questioned as to why I didn't make it more profitable by throwing the bucs in their as well...next time...next time

Finally, depending on how you want to title this, it could cause an uproar with activists...upon viewing, it should have caused #22 to walk to the sideline and turn in his uniform
(you email subscribers will need to hyperlink to the page to see the clip http://youngrazor.blogspot.com)
Adrian Peterson Runs Over Gay

Week 8 Picks: Hou, Chi, Dal, STL, Indy, NYJ, Phi, Bal, JAX, SD, GB, ARZ, N.O.
Last Week: 9-4* pending PHI win
Overall: 68-35

The Race for Futility

2009-10-18T18:00:00.011-05:00

I've tried to avoid talking about it but time has come. My saints are quite possibly the best team (right now) in the NFL. Looking at points on both sides of the ball 'we' are #1 on offense and #9 on defense. The defensive numbers are inflated in my opinion if you take into account a handful of them per game are affected by the less than stellar special teams coverage units on punts and kickoffs. That can be coached up and when it does, it may be very tough to compete with the team from the bayou. It's looking like Sean Payton giving up some of his salary to get the new defensive coordinator (Gregg Williams) was one of the top 5 "good moves" this off season (we'll look at the other moves at another time).

A friend of mine asks what does it mean when a team quits on you. My answer Tenn 0 - N.E. 59. You not only give up 5 TDs in 1 qtr, you can't even muster a FG just to get on the board? Your qb has -7 passing yards for the whole game?? I would say they got boat raced but that may not be a strong enough word. Jeff Fisher...welcome, to the hot seat.

Ironically, a 40 year old future hall of famer can retire and unretire at will with little-to-no fanfare or press coverage. Of course I'm referring to Junior Seau re-signing with the Patriots and not wrangler rocking Brett Favre.

Finally, (and I'm willing to take bets on this....well lets face it, I'm willing to take bets on what the temperature will be at noon but you get the point) Looking at the teams who are both undefeated and "defeated"..this is my take on who will be the last to lose/win

Minn (6-0), Indy (6-0), Den (6-0), N.O. (5-0) AND (0-6) T.B., STL, Tenn

Minn - at Pitt next week which will be the first cold test for Favre and he may be looking forward to the next week which is his return to G.B. They will drop 1 in the next 2 weeks
N.O. - The handling of Miami's wildcat is of convern and then a showdown with ATL next week. IF we can get past this stretch, week 12, brings the Pats to Town. Wouldn't be shocked if we dropped 1 of the next 2.
Den - They have Baltimore team coming off another tough loss followed by a visit from pitt FOLLOWING their bye week. They will drop one of (if not both) of the next 2.
Indy - This is my pick for the last undefeated team. The stretch in which they, by my accounts, will lose a game or 2 starts in week 9 in which they will see the texans, pats, ravens and texans again.

This is a tricky one.
St. Louis - They get off the schnide against a banged up Det in week 8
T.B. - I see weeks 13-16 (car, jets, sea)being a possible win for them BUT
Tenn - is my pick to run the suckfest table the longest. I don't see a W in their future until their "showdown" with the Rams in week 14 (which COULD be a showdown of 2 0-13 teams...keep your fingers crossed)

Week 7 Picks: G.B., S.D., Indy, Pitt, N.E., Hou, NYJ, Car, Chi, Atl, N.O., NYG, Phi

Last Week: 8-6
Overall: 59-31

Diamond In The Rough

2009-10-12T18:51:00.012-05:00

There was some pretty awful matchups this week and I expect that trend to continue. Thankfully I am a gambler and also have fantasy to keep me watching a game in which a team (NYG) feels they have the game well in hand and can put in their backup BEFORE halftime. The Raiders will not get better until Al Davis is unable to function as the owner of the team. Also, I can't figure out if Jamarcus Russel's pocket presence (ability to detect danger when dropping back to pass) is like playing on the all madden level with a qb that has a rating below 60 OR like watching a deaf/blind senior citizen attempt to cross the highway alone. I'm leaning more towards the latter.

A few thoughts and observations from this week.

The broncos throwback uniforms was potentially the ugliest thing I've ever seen an athlete wear.

Mike Singletary has the 49ers relevant for the first time in a long time but he's toe-ing the line on going too far. When you are wasting timeouts early in the 1st qtr to reprimand the defense (scored on next play), confronting players on opposing teams, and extending the game in blowouts so your team can get more "practice", you had better be winning. Otherwise you go from being a fiery leader to yet another questionable coach who loses his head.

I definitely support the breast cancer awareness but I could almost do without the pink everywhere.

The hispanic heritage moments last night made me re-think about the number of hispanics in the league. I couldn't name you 3. This has to be the largest disparity in pro sports right? Also, after the fist penalty, I was also nervous the refs would be speaking in espanol the whole game with no subtitles

This is Torry "Big Game" Holt's hand. He is a wide reciever for the Jacksonville Jaguars. I don't see how he opens a can of corn let alone catch a football thrown with some velocity.

I'm telling yall, if you don't gamble you better start. I'm laying out the blueprint to get paid with my picks!

Week 6 Picks: Cin, G.B., Minn, N.O., Pitt, Car, Was, Jax, Phi, Sea, N.E., NYJ, Chi, Den

Last Week: 8-6
Overall: 50-25

Progress Reports

2009-10-06T09:52:00.008-05:00

Am I the only one who hates bye weeks? I know they are needed but when your team is on a roll like butter, I start wishing the bye weeks could be flexed like NBC games after thanksgiving. Nevertheless, the 1st qtr of the season has gone and come and it's time to hand out some grades/rankings according to this idiot

A+ (when you're 4-0 after 4 games you're guaranteed to be on the dean's list)
1a - Minnesota
1b - NYG
3 - New Orleans
4 - Indy
5 - Denver (I still think they aren't for real but the record says it all)

A
6 - Baltimore
7 - N.E. (finding their stride once again)
8 - S.F. (the team nobody's talking about...maybe because they lack stars?)
9 - NYJ (from legend to rookie and they are in same position this time last year)
10 - Cin. (maybe hbo's hard knocks DOES reverse a teams fortune)
11 - Chi

B - Only two teams in this grade..there seems to be quite some disparity THUS FAR in the league
12 - Philly and 13 - ATL

C - 2-2 will get you a passing grade, but it won't save your job!
14 - Pitt, 15 - SD, 16 - Dall,17 - G.B., 18 - Jax, 19 - Hou, 20 - WAS

D - Most of these teams aren't completely horrible but they are underachieving
21 - Det, 22 - Arz, 23 - Sea, 24 - Buf, 25 - Mia, 26 - Oak

F aka no need to put lighter fluid on an already steady grease fire!
27 - Car (best of the worst), 28 - Tenn (switching to VY would not help them at all), 29 - Cle, 30 - Tampa Bay, 31 - K.C., 32 - St. Louis

These are my 2 favorite end zone celebrations thus far.
(only need to watch from the 19 second mark to the 29 second mark)

(only need to watch from 1:25 to 1:35)

Week 5 Picks: Cle, Pitt, Dal, Min, NYG, Phi, Was, Bal, S.F., N.E., Arz, Jax, Indy, NYJ

Last Week: 9-5
Overall: 42-19

Time for a change?

2009-09-27T20:46:00.008-05:00

One has to wonder, with the number of proven and/or superbowl winning coaches that are currently NOT coaching, how many coaches feel secure with their job? Cowher, Gruden (openly mailing it in on MNF), Holmgren, Billick, Dungy (probably not coming back), and Shanahan have a combined 7 Superbowl titles between them and that has to have some coaches a little antsy. Some teams have obvious hot seats (waves at Jon Fox in Carolina and Jim Zorn in Washington), but I would think any owner would cut off a newly hired head coach that's barely treading water (this means you Raheem Morris/TB) immediately if one of these coaches put it out there that they would take over the reigns if given the opportunity.

Can somebody tell Kurt Warner that dying your hair doesn't actually allow you to turn back the hands of time playing wise. He could be a spokesman for Just for Men tho.

With all that's made of my saints ability to score 50 a game...it's good to see we have the testicular fortitude to play and win in a close one (even tho the final score did not indicate that one). If we find a way to completely shore up that special teams play...LOOK OUT!

What's the date? I give T.O. about 3 weeks or 2 more losses (whichever comes first) before he blows his wig on the sideline and subsequently throws Trent Edwards under the bus. Trust me, that trains never late.

I really think this will be LT's last year on the chargers payroll if he wants to play after this season. He's been as consistent as they come but the only thing he is consistent at now-a-days is getting injured. They didn't give sproles the franchise player tag for nothing.

Shout out to the nfl network for making those of us without directv still be able to follow the live game action from around the league. And yes, I have 2 tvs going at the same time on Sundays. Don't judge me.

Favre has just guaranteed himself one free pass from teammates and the media if he screws something up with his last second game winning pass (even tho the catch was better). The only caveat is that screw up expires once the playoffs starts. If not, Brad Childress will be accompanying him and his wranglers on that plane back to Mississippi.

Week 4 Picks: Chi, Cin, Indy, NYG, Bal, Wash, Tenn, Hou, Buff, N.O., Dal, S.F., S.D., Minn

Last Week: 13-3
Overall: 33-14

I just can't get enough of this dude at work. He's now known as spiderman to me and I will not refer to him as anything but. (This caption should be eff yo casual friday...i'm rocking superman banches!...lil blurry but you get the pic..pun intended)

Filling in the blanks

2009-09-22T13:02:00.001-05:00

Fresh off a hectic week in which I'm really starting to ask myself the question, "at this point, if you were to only show up to work on tuesdays and thursdays...would it matter...would anybody even notice?" Ahh well, at least I won in all my fantasy leagues...on to what's on this idiots mind. (oh yea, if you don't want to receive deebo texts about new blogs but still want to follow u can subscribe to the right)

A conversation with my anonymous friend "Ty'Rell" made me realize the NFL needs to have a rule where former players can NOT commentate a game in which they played a significant amount of time for that team. They either go full Rodney Harrison and make the patriots appear to be the alpha and omega, or go the Troy Aikman route in which they continually bash the person at their former position. Unbiased somehow is an adjective that is rarely used synonymously with "former player".

Thank you to Delonte West for proving that NBA players are just as intriguing as nfl players with breaking the law. I find it impressive that one would be riding a motorcycle with a guitar case to start with...but a little more impressed with the fact that you had a shotgun (not a gee-tar) in this case....[throw in 2 loaded handguns to boot]. All this and the reports still referred to him as "Lebron's teammate" the entire time.

Hey, did anybody know the WNBA playoffs were going on? Seriously, i had no clue. The highlight on sportscenter was about as long as that question.

Herschel Walker has signed on at age 47 to fight in MMA's strikeforce.....yet another example that the NFL needs to have an "exit strategy" for the players leaving the league with a NO-01k....This.will.end.badly

If you give me Peyton or Drew at the helm (that means quarterback) and any receivers that have 2 arms and 2 legs, I like my chances against just about any team in the NFL. Drew was slightly...well slighted last year in the MVP balloting (2nd all time in yards for one season without a single 1,000 yard receiver or rusher) but chalk that up to the 8-8 record. He should be #1 thus far in the polls for that honor and I don't see that trend coming to an end this upcoming weekend.

Why is it that you can give SOME girls a plane ticket that says SFO (or random airport code) and they know exactly where the destination is, yet ask "who's playin" when it says DET 0 N.E. 24 on the screen? Is this some sort of mental block? Just say the word and I'll put up a diagram on how to read the scores on the screen. This will enable you to walk into a room and seamlessly transition into the crowd without having that confused face. You may not know who has the ball or whats going on...but at least you'd know who's winning!

At some point in my life I will HAVE to see what it's like to come to the sidelines and suck oxygen from a machine.

Lastly....when is too much...TOO MUCH? (this is NOT my desk by the way...my neighbors)

Week 3 Picks: Oak, S.D., Dal, Indy, Wash, G.B., Minn, NYG, JAX, Chi, N.E., NYJ, Philly, Bal, N.o., Pit

Last Week: 8-8
Overall: 20-11

Piecing It All Together

2009-09-11T10:15:00.011-05:00

There was way too much going on this weekend that I couldn't even gather my thoughts to create legible sentences so I compiled a list of comments/questions from the last few days.

I'm neither a Brett Favre fan or a hater but I was pondering this question, Does he pass your litmus test as a future first ballot hall of famer should? I'm not even taking into account his post Packer career. Of all the greats from staubach, to marino, to elway...would Favre crack your top 5, 10, 20 as an answer to the following statement:

If I had to pick one qb to make ONE throw in a game it would be ______.
If I had to pick one qb to make ONE drive to win the game it would be ______.
If I had to pick on qb to win me a lifetime supply of Wranglers...wait, that would be Favre.

Is there or has there ever been another player such as Favre in any sport whose greatest asset makes them so great and so terrible at the same time?

Upon hearing that Merriman assaulted Tela Tequila I immediately assumed he did it. I was further convinced after hearing his good Samaritan rant in which he stated "I just wanted her to stay with me until I could get her a safe ride home." I then said ninja please when I heard someone with the last name of "Tequila" opened there mouth and state they don't drink which is about as believable as somebody telling me John Goodman has never eaten a whole bucket of chicken alone.

What exactly has to happen for a General Manger to make a requirement that all players sign a contract that says "I will not be on the cover of madden even if they pay me $1M". I think Fitzgerald took out an insurance policy on this season after seeing Polamalu bite the dust.

So, when your long snapper is able to audible to a fake punt on 4th and 12 from your own 30 yard line when you are only up by 2....should you be upset when someone questions how the 52nd man on a 53 man roster has so much power?

Its nice to see Jay Cutler cite Brett Favre rule 1a: If nobody is open, just throw the ball as hard as you can towards somebody and see what happens. Add his performance with Urlacher being out for the year and you have the potential for the quickest abandoning of a superbowl bandwagon pick ever!

Note: Special thanks to Adrian Peterson and Drew Brees for single handedly winning week 1 for fantasy teams across the nation.

Serena lashing out at the side judge was funny to me but left me with questions. Did she not think her words would be picked up by the boom mic?...meaning you wouldn't be able to deny what you said? Does she not think most asian women under 5 feet would be intimidated by a 6 foot black woman looks like she gives me workout tips (you see her shoulders?!)? Does she not think saying "I would stuff this tennis ball down your throat" doubles as a death threat?
-I wonder if Jamie Foxx still wants to be her tennis ball.

This perhaps is the most questionable thing I've ever said....but can we petition the NFL to limit the amount of SUPER slow motion HD replays during the game? The amount of man jiggle on my screen during these things makes me want to attempt to swallow my own tongue.

Week 2 Picks: Atl, Minn, N.O., Wash, G.B., Tenn, Oak, N.E., Jax, Buff, Sea, Pitt, Balt, Cle, Dal, Indy
Last Week: 12-3
Overall: 12-3

On another note: I was taught a lesson this weekend that was not wanted, SHOULD not have been needed, but very much recieved and I never thought it would happen to me. I thankfully walked away from this and I don't do public service announcements but hopefully this serves as a small reminder of the outcome of bad decision making.

Rantin and Ravin

2009-09-09T11:57:00.001-05:00

Alright,
After this weekend I’m more ready for the kickoff Thursday night than I’ve been in a long time. Maybe it’s the 4 live drafts I had for my fantasy teams over the past month, not to mention a live auction draft where I sat in for a close friend (on the condition of anonymity we’ll just call him Ty’Rell). Side note: I felt more pressure in this draft than you’d imagine. I’m trying to play it cool the entire time watching as people left the board and I start thinking…what if I end up overpaying for Shaun Hill because I hadn’t gotten him a starting qb, then only have enough funds left over to buy deuce mcallister and plaxico burress. What’s the chance “Ty’Rell” would question everything I’ve ever said about sports vs. the chance he’d politely ask me to “put in” on his fees since I have provided a handicap worse than a golfer with one arm. This all went thru my head in the 1^st 5 minutes. Luckily I was the only one who did a mock draft so paying ¼ of my budget to get Adrian Peterson was a strategy that I wasn’t about to venture in to. Was any of that interesting? Shrugs. I’m still frothing over the mia/fsu game last night. I made sure to sit up-right the whole game as to not miss a play and it came down to one dropped pass (Not sure how the qb takes no responsibility for a low pass but that’s not for me to debate). I like the Qb from Miami. Reminds me of a cross between vince young and aaron brooks and that’s meant as more of a compliment than the obvious insult one could draw from that. And yes I picked those to qb’s because he’s black. So there. This weekend of college football got me ready to go for the NFL season. The networks did a good job of opening with some big games. Perhaps they do this every year but it seemed to be more evident this year in my eyes.

Can anybody inform me of the thought process behind the Raiders personnel moves? Let’s say Richard Seymour has another season like he did last year (and I can’t even recall what that was). Do the Raiders feel they are ONE player away from ____? I mean, for a team that has looked more like a mid-level college team since a superbowl appearance, making the jump for them would be 9-7 (then again, 9-7 would’ve won their division). I just can’t justify a team with young talent giving up a potential top 5 pick for a player that will produce HOPEFULLY for you for the next 2 years. They already gave away moss (not arguing they shouldn’t have) for peanuts, and now this. Perhaps Bellicek has some footage of Al Davis pulling a Hugh Hefner left over from their illegal recording days.

I give you my word that if you ever ask me to advise or represent you on something where millions of dollars are involved, I’d play hardball for you but at some point I’d probably just cave and say “ok man, take the 10 million since they won’t budge on the 15 million mark”. Crabtree’s agent/cousin/whatever is giving him some baffling advice. Has he not heard of restructuring a contract after year one…or 2? I still won’t believe he’d sit out a WHOLE season and just miss out on 3 or so million. I use that number because if he does go back to the draft I would assume he’d still garner a 20+ million guarantee and the balance paid out over a 4 or 5 year contract. Still, you take the risk of taking a year off and not being as sharp as you once were (hey Charles rogers). You also take the risk of a black flag saying STAY AWAY planted directly on your back. I mean, the endorsements alone waiting for him in S.F. if he plays and is halfway decent I would presume would be worth it.

Maybe it’s just me. But the thought that Mangini will not announce the starter for the game against Minnesota as some sort of slight advantage is laughable to me. Do you think Jared Allen is going to say, Holy Crap batman, they’re starting Quinn, NOW what do we do?! Wouldn’t this only be some sort of advantage if you had say 2 completely different qbs on your team (running, throwing)…and yes I know, they are 2 different qbs but I don’t think Checkdown passer vs. inaccurate passer qualifies (thank you thank you, I’ll be hear all night..be sure to tip the cocktail waitresses on the way out). Not to mention there is film on both of them. Perhaps if they had an unknown qb on the roster this could make sense as well. Idk, just one man’s opinion

Week 1 winners - Pitt, ATL, Cinn, Minn, Indy, N.O., Dallas, Philly, Bal, Hou, NYG, ARZ, SEA, GB, NE, SD